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Right to bare arms

Historians have uncovered a typographical error in the United States Constitution that entitles all Americans citizens to a free wax.

Stock Photo of the Consitution of the United States and Feather Quill

Historians have uncovered a typographical error in the United States Constitution that entitles all Americans citizens to a free wax.

The Second Amendment had previously constitutionally enshrined a citizen’s “right to keep and bear arms”, but this week it was uncovered that the actual wording entitled Americans to the “right to keep bare arms.”

The White House has described the error as “embarrassing.”

“I mean: we have had this document ratified for 224 years. It is a pretty big failing on the part of this administration and all those that came before us,” said White House Press Secretary Jay Carney.

“We acknowledge and whole-heartedly apologise for the policies and practices of this government and our predecessors that have lead to millions of hairy arms, and trillions of dollars on waxes that you were constitutionally entitled to.”

“We will, of course, assist all Americans to reclaim this long-lost right as soon as possible – the waxes are on us, folks!”

The news comes as a large blow to the National Rifle Association’s campaign against gun control laws. CEO and Executive Vice President of the Association, Wayne Lapierre, stated that the constitutional change would not impact their position.

It’s just those fucking gays and their homophones. It has been this way throughout all of America’s history, and no homo can change that.”

Lapierre declined to comment on whether or not he would be claiming his free wax.

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