Angry at Evangelicals
I’m probably capable of writing a very measured and thoughtful letter about how tired I am of evangelical Christians spouting their rabid nonsense on campus. I am, after all, a high-achieving student of the arts at one of the premier universities in the country.
I could, if I had the energy, marshal together a few good arguments from Socrates to Bertrand Russell, set it all out nicely and explain why I’m not and never will be moved by the idea that a human sacrifice in ancient Palestine is the most morally salient event in the history of the universe, that this human sacrifice has anything whatsoever to do with me and the meaning of my life.
But I am, indeed, too tired. So please, please, for the love of FUCK, just go away – you sanctimonious little happy clapping *****. No more unsightly chalk-hewn attestations to your mythical beliefs, no more god-awful acoustic songs, no more cheesy American pseudo-academic ring-ins. We’ve heard it all so many times. It doesn’t make any fucking sense!!!
Mitch Dempsey, Arts II
When Caccs Attacks
With much anticipation did I see that Page 4’s Honi News was updating students on the ongoing negotiations between the University and the Unions over the EBA. The reason I applied to be an Honi Reporter was to break these kind of stories, and I immediately indicated my interest in pursuing it.
Within two weeks, I had written two drafts and sourced a press release from the Office of Dr Spence himself confirming these developments. These drafts included key facts from the negotiations, including the $206 million difference between the suggested pay increases from each side, Spence’s commitment to keeping staff the highest paid in the sector, and the massive premiums that would have to be borne by the University if to-and-from work insurance was covered through them. The only thing missing from these stories was a remark from an NTEU representative, which I was assured was being chased up by another editor.
It was to my great surprise, then, that I opened this article to find that this was not my article at all. This was a totally different article, with a clear pro-Union slant emphasised by liberal quoting of NTEU sources. None of the important facts listed above made it in there, instead continuing to say that the NTEU’s demands were entirely possible due to the surpluses the University seems to enjoy – the same operating surplus that is consistently earmarked for infrastructure or research grants. Perhaps the NTEU would have the University stop both. Oh, and what about the salaries of senior management, totaling $5 million? If only we had 40 or so senior management teams to sack.
There are two sides to this story. It’s one-sided articles like this, however, that give Honi its title of “The Strike Newspaper”. Given that previous editorials have openly encouraged students to strike, while featuring no analysis whatsoever of the opposite point of view, I should not be left surprised by this. It is one thing to treat your reporters terribly, without any notice that a story has been dropped, or you’ve been snubbed by another writer. It is another to parade as a news section of a newspaper while peddling what is clearly a collectively held conviction.
I guess objectivity really is dead, huh?
Cameron Caccamo, Education/Arts III
The Fastest Response Letter Ever
Apologies your article didn’t go to print. We received two articles on a similar topic and intended to combine research from each article. We definitely should have communicated better within our team, with you and with the other author, but did not censor you for political reasons.
This Email Came from an Address Belonging to ‘Rhys Pogo’. But we’re like 66% sure it’s not that Rhys…
Dear Honi Soit,
I have a question of etiquette for your readership. Just the other day, I was moisturising my vagina after some vigorous hair removal and heard a knock on the door. I answered, panty-free with skirt covering, expecting that the postman was just dropping off a package.
Instead, I found Greens members campaigning for my vote. It was a sticky situation: I was unsure whether conversing sans knickers was polite, or common practice in this company.
To add to my horror, the candidate strode up and reached his hand out for the good bloke shake. I hesitantly reached out my slick hand in return, not wanting to rebuke his advances.
What should I have done? In my attempt to eschew rudeness, I have become far more intimate with my neighbours through the conduit of the Greens candidate than I ever intended. I feel like the person who passed on chlamydia to all of my polyamorous network.
Come Help the Kids
I’m writing on behalf of the Sony Foundation St Andrews College Children’s Camp committee and we would love it if the Honi Soit would be able to help us spread awareness of the camp and open the camp up to the wider university community.
From December 5th-8th 2013, St Andrew’s College will host the Sony Foundation St Andrew’s College Children’s Camp for children with physical and intellectual disabilities. The pilot camp in 2012 saw 26 students and seven committee members volunteer four days of their summer holidays to be companions to twelve children from around New South Wales. This year we are proud to announce Sponsorship from the Sony Foundation and with further support from the College, university and local community, the camp will be able to cater for Sixteen children.
The Sony Foundation St Andrew’s College Children’s Camp allows the children to experience a great range of activities such as swimming, arts and craft, a trip to the zoo, a jumping castle, visits from a fire truck and Santa! It is not only an invaluable experience for the children but also provides the families of these children with a break in the lead up to Christmas. The children have a fantastic opportunity to meet new friends and gain a sense of independence. Everyone who is involved with the camp is truly passionate about this program and about making a positive contribution to our community.
As well as increasing the number of children at the camp this year, we are also looking to recruit carers from the wider university community. The carer plays the role of a guardian for a child throughout the camp, including catering for the particular child’s needs as required over a 24 hour timeframe per day for the duration of the camp. The role of a carer is difficult, tiring, often frustrating but above all offers significant personal growth and reward, as well as providing a much needed respite for the family.
We ask anyone who is interested in applying for a role on this years Sony Foundation St Andrew’s College Children’s Camp to email firstname.lastname@example.org or to visit www.saccc.org.au for more information.
Getting Real about Race
It might not have made it up the ivory-tower vine yet, but the P.C. Police have yet to classify refugees as a race. This might be pertinent information to pass onto President Pink re: his report in the last edition. If a reclassification has indeed taken place, I apologise to this student body and and to Obama Most Merciful for my ignorance. But if my suspicions are correct, detention of refugees is not in any way, shape, form, or perverted stretch of the English language, “racist”.
The discriminatory nature of basic vocabulary is one I am proud to see being rectified in my lifetime, and hopefully racism against English majors (such as myself) in engineering job market will be identified as the atrocity it is — ideally before I finish my degree. But to count our eggs before they hatch will be counterproductive to the struggle for equality we all so desperately believe in.
Michael W. Davis