In a landmark study by Monash University published on Monday, it was discovered that not a single Australian child under the age of fourteen hopes to be Prime Minister when they grow up. Not even one.
Having scoured literally every single home across the nation, the Melbourne research group was unable to find any children at all who would endearingly say they wanted the country’s so-called “top job” when they grew up.
Six-year-old Alexander Murphy who took part in the study stated that he was “above partisan bickering and short-term policy.”
Even precocious 12-year-olds were found to prefer prospects offered by high finance, or the Bohemian pursuit of art.
Prime Minister Tony Abbott took a break from actively holding the collective intelligence of the country in contempt this morning to dismiss the findings, saying that “it’s probably Labor’s fault”.
Astronaut and butterfly remain the top two preferences.