Comedy //

Post-Europe Depression Clinic Mandated

Elliott Brennan has #posteuropedepression.

Contiki tours offering ‘the full Europe Experience’ will now be required under federal legislation to include access to one of the thousands of Post-Europe Depression clinics being opened in the coming months in their packages.

The revelation comes following a recent study by the Bureau of Statistics that showed ten out of ten Australians are severely affected by feelings of deep longing, loss, and trauma directly following their return from Europe.

The issue reached parliament when some old minister was alarmed to see #posteuropedepression and #takemeback trending on all social media platforms and immediately took the issue to the Health Minister Peter Dutton.

“Australia is facing a mental health epidemic and these companies need to start taking responsibility for the very real adverse effects they are having on the well-being of their customers. Gone are the archaic Labor days where we deny due care and support to people with legitimate health problems,” MP Dutton said.

To attain federal contiki ceritification, the clinic provided by the company must take measures to ease Australians back in to their peasant lives.

Ample cameras need to be provided and posters of famous landmarks will surround the patients while they are force-fed gradually less copious amounts of alcohol and drugs over a period of at least 3 weeks.