Comedy //

Architects call for giant vulvic casino to offset horror of Crown’s Barangaroo tower

The End Times explores Sydney's most evocative development application.

Inspired by a spate of passionate articles by the Sydney Morning Herald about the urban planning disaster that is the Barangaroo development, Sydney City Mayoress Zoner Bore has proposed a substantial change to Sydney’s skyline. Realising that the core of most commentary on the area lies in the remarkably penile nature of the suburb’s centrepiece, the Barangaroo Tower, Ms Bore suggested offsetting the offending landmark with a new, larger skyscraper entitled Yoni.

Bore told The End Times: “The Barangaroo tower has been too phallic for too long. The energy of the area is just off. I want to change our cityscape to better reflect the diverse interests of my constituents!”

The new construction will feature a particularly clitoral sky-deck at 900m, making it both the tallest clitoral sky-deck in the world, and also the tallest building. Early feedback has expressed concerns that certain patrons may struggle to locate the feature. 

Some advocates have taken aim at the absence of pubic hair from the monument. 

“Along with being nearly a kilometre tall, it’s just another unrealistic expectation for those among us with vaginas to live up to,” Glebe foreshore resident Jen Triffiah commented on the development application.