When thinking of people who do truly evil acts, we like to position ourselves as far away from them as possible. “Monster.” “Devil.” We do not view ourselves as being like them in any way. We are human and they are not. Sufjan Stevens does not think in this way. In fact, he makes it a point to remind us that we are all just as good, and just as evil, as the person next to us.
‘John Wayne Gacy, Jr.’ is the fourth song on Stevens’ fifth studio album Illinois, released in 2005. A concept album, he traverses the great expanse of the state of Illinois, singing and whispering about its inhabitants and histories, people hidden in apartment buildings and laneways. He does not shy away from the state’s darker stories and individuals. Through ‘John Wayne Gacy Jr.’ Stevens explores these dark corridors of the mind and the soul, wearing his heart upon his sleeve.
John Wayne Gacy was a serial killer, who over the course of the 1970s murdered 33 boys — the oldest 21 and the youngest just 14. He tormented and tortured them before taking their lives, and burying his victims in his house. He was not a recluse, in fact, he was celebrated in his community for his charisma and the fact that he would perform at parties as a clown.
No one expected he would ever do something so heinous as taking the life of another human being. In 1994, he was executed by lethal injection.
‘Original sin’ is a theological concept that all people emerge into the world as sinners. That all of humanity, not only a select few, are born with the capacity to be bad or wicked, not only to others, but to ourselves. Perhaps the “Jr.” in the title of the song is more about Stevens and ourselves than it is about Gacy. We are his successors, in a sense. The struggle between good and bad is constant and raging. Though in a lighter sense, he also recognises, in his exhausted yet hopeful breaths at the conclusion of the song, that we are all born with a capacity to be better.
Stevens’ song takes us through his early childhood with low self-esteem and an abusive father. He takes us through the crawlspace to “find the few living things, rotting fast in their sleep”, reminding us that Gacy’s victims are more than numbers and spectacles in this song, but they were human beings. He details the gruesome assault and murder that each boy went through, with Gacy taking their lives, their ambitions, their community, and their ability to grow old away from them.
The final lines, like the rest of the song, are blunt, and hauntingly honest.
“And in my best behaviour
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid.”
So often we hear songs about bad things that have happened to singers. Heartbreak, death, loss. Rarely, do we hear the singer admitting so openly and willingly, that they inherit that sinfulness. Stevens’ songwriting is a revelation in a world so consumed with looking outwards, obsessing over how people have wronged us. This is not an excuse for Gacy. These are Stevens’ confessions, his admission to his humanity.
Ultimately, the song is not about Gacy, but about his victims and the remembrance of their humanity. It is a call to us all to recognise their humanity and that of all victims of heinous crimes, big and small. It is a call to remember our responsibility to do good in the world and to admit to our mistakes, even when it is unbearably painful.
