Local old person Valma Briggs has today revealed that, for no other reason than a love of challenge, apparently, her preferred way of accessing “the google search” is to type “google” into her homepage, bing.com. Google executives are baffled. “I’ve run the numbers a lot of times. She uses Chrome as a browser. Google was at some point her home page. Each tab opens, by default, on a Google search. She either doesn’t understand the basics of accessing the Internet, or she is truly some sort of digital Christopher Columbus of our time,” an exasperated Tim Cook stated. Briggs says her trick is simply to “search for exactly what it is that I’m looking for.” “Sometimes, if I want to learn something, say, the name of John Nettles’ first wife, I will type into bing ‘google search’ and then when I am into the Google I type in ‘what is the name of the first person to be married to John Nettles from Midsomer Murders’?’” Briggs has been unresponsive to those who have tried to dissuade her from her daily epic. At press time, a flustered and very much confused Briggs slapped away six well-intending hands, saying “Yes, you’re always talking about your way, but I’m talking about my way.” “I’ll get it myself, eventually!” she boldly declared of her latest expedition.
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