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Conservatives Fine with Hillary for President so Long as she is Paid Less Than a Man

Representatives from the GOP have today announced that they are not opposed to Hillary Clinton running for the American Presidency, so long as she gets paid less for the job than a man would. Republicans have voiced fears that appointing a woman to the highest office in the land, possibly before she had stopped having…

Former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton poses for a photo with a supporter at the 37th Harkin Steak Fry in Indianola, Iowa in this September 14, 2014 file photo. REUTERS/Jim Young/Files FROM THE FILES PACKAGE 'POLITICIAN SELFIES'. SEARCH 'POLITICIAN SELFIES' FOR ALL 13 IMAGES

Representatives from the GOP have today announced that they are not opposed to Hillary Clinton running for the American Presidency, so long as she gets paid less for the job than a man would.

Republicans have voiced fears that appointing a woman to the highest office in the land, possibly before she had stopped having periods, was dangerous.

Marco Rubio, who last week announced his candidacy in the 2016 election, has, unsurprisingly, toed the party line when questioned on the matter.

“I come from a party with a proud tradition of remuneration based on merit,” Rubio stated, “I’m concerned that equal pay might suggest she’s doing the exact same job. For instance, will she be able to act swiftly on threats to America given she should get the National Security Council coffees on the way in? She probably has a weaker handshake, also.”

“Frankly, I’m impressed that she has time to run for president, what with having to stay on top of the needlework.”

Critics have argued that this is the 21st century, but the GOP is unconvinced.

“I only hope she’s as lucid during her 3-5 days of uterine bleeding as President Reagan was during his 3-5 years of cranial bleeding.”

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