Bloke promotes female autonomy by not asking for permission to root best mate’s ex girlfriend

One step at a time

A self-described “feminist ally” has taken what he has described as “important steps towards living my politics” by refraining from asking his best friend whether it is okay to hook up with his ex-girlfriend.

Third-year business student Sam McKeown, 20, had previously been contemplating the best strategy for navigating his desire to “get with” Keira Prentice, who terminated her relationship with McKeown’s close friend just two weeks ago.

“Like, I used to think of Keira as Geoffrey’s girl, you know? And just a few days ago I realised that actually, Keira doesn’t belong to Geoffrey any more. Not that she ever did, I mean.”

In the past, it has been customary for McKeown and his friendship group to run these things by involved or interested parties to ensure that there is no bad blood. This standard practice was in keeping with what they call “the bro code”.

Now, however, he feels such measures are outdated. “She should be able to make that decision for herself, you know? I respect her agency and her autonomy. She’s a grown woman. She can do whatever she wants. That’s a Beyoncé lyric.”

McKeown admitted that until this point in life, he had adhered strictly to the ‘bros before hoes’ maxim.

When asked to provide insight into the attitude, he said, “It’s only now that I realise that sometimes the hoes have to come before the bros, actually.”

Sam later contacted The Garter to clarify that he does not, in fact, think of women as “hoes” and only used the term in the context of the idiom. Keira and Geoffrey were not available for comment.