Having received the green light to satisfy the desires of her property developer friends and tear down the Allianz Stadium after winning the state election, Gladys Berejiklian has wasted no time in enlisting help to begin knocking it down. To lead the demolitions, Berejiklian has chosen American conservative provocateur Ben Shapiro — an unorthodox choice that has raised a few eyebrows.
“I am absolutely confident that Ben will do a fine job of tearing down the stadium. Anyone who’s been on the Youtube knows he has a stellar track record of destroying leftist power structures and ivory towers” Berejiklian said, justifying her choice.
Speaking to his appointment, Shapiro was similarly confident about leading the demolition.
“WHILE THIS IS THE FIRST NON-HUMAN I WILL BE DESTROYING, THE POWER OF FACTS AND LOGIC WILL SURELY PENETRATE ITS STEELY EXTERIOR AND BREAK IT INTO INTELLECTUAL SUBMISSION”
While many political commentators and structural engineers were initially skeptical, Shapiro immediately silenced his nay-sayers after causing the stadium to spontaneously collapse upon telling it “FACTS DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS”