Close Menu
Honi Soit
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Trending
    • On Art and Bearing Witness: Ahmed and Sakr on the Nightmare Sequence
    • No Soap in the Box
    • “USyd you can’t hide, you’re supporting genocide”: Post-SGM Palestine Rally
    • A meditation on God and the impossible pursuit of answers
    • Week 11 Editorial
    • Losing My Religion: Elegies from an Atheist who desperately wants to believe in God
    • The Islamic Spirituality of Romanticising your Life
    • Loss, to which I return often.
    • About
    • Print Edition
    • Student Journalism Conference 2025
    • Writing Comp
    • Advertise
    • Locations
    • Contact
    Facebook Instagram X (Twitter) TikTok
    Honi SoitHoni Soit
    Thursday, May 15
    • News
    • Analysis
    • Culture
    • Opinion
    • University
    • Features
    • Perspective
    • Investigation
    • Reviews
    • Comedy
    • Student Journalism Conference 2025
    Honi Soit
    Home»Comedy

    Ex society president feels honoured to have been stacked by random campus faction

    Relations are icy.
    By Marlow HurstMay 16, 2021 Comedy 2 Mins Read
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    At yesterday afternoon’s Figure Skating Society AGM, President Abigail Winters was ousted after a pack of 25 factional hacks showed up to the meeting with a mean glint in their eyes.

    Winters considered it an honour though.

    “This is a dream come true.” She told Honi. “It’s just like when Timothy Goebel landed three quad jumps in his 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics program: it was beautiful – beautiful yet deadly.”

    Longest serving Figure Skating Society president and all-round C&S heavyweight Leon Donor-Hugh thought it was anything but an honour.

    “They stacked us about as much as Gillis Grafström stacked his Olympic medal shelf. And not only is stacking at odds with the spirit of C&S, it is at odds with the very principles of figure skating: fairness, justice, and above all, a respect for your fellow ice dancer.”

    Walter Sturges, the newly elected President, fiercely rejected this claim in his USU campaign launch speech.

    “I love ice and I love the thrill of a triple salchow. The blood of skating runs through my veins. And so what if me and exactly the right amount of my buddies showed up to the Figure Skating Society AGM to express that love by nominating for executive positions.”

    This saga is far from over thougb. Following the AGM, the society has suffered a schism, with a group of separatists called the “True Skaters” declaring the society compromised and pledging to register a rival club.

    A university spokesperson warned students not to attend any ice skating adjacent campus events until the unrest had been quelled.

    “All it takes is one poisoned snow cone machine, and BAM, things could get a whole lot worse.”

    Keep Reading

    Remember Me

    Battling personalities and deadlines: The spectrum of characters in group assessments

    Gay men are afraid to speak out. It’s up to straight women to speak up.

    The Little Vape That Could

    Fare Evasion: A Conversation With the Artful Dodger*

    A letter from a self-proclaimed #malefeminist

    Just In

    On Art and Bearing Witness: Ahmed and Sakr on the Nightmare Sequence

    May 15, 2025

    No Soap in the Box

    May 15, 2025

    “USyd you can’t hide, you’re supporting genocide”: Post-SGM Palestine Rally

    May 14, 2025

    A meditation on God and the impossible pursuit of answers

    May 14, 2025
    Editor's Picks

    A meditation on God and the impossible pursuit of answers

    May 14, 2025

    We Will Be Remembered As More Than Administrative Errors

    May 7, 2025

    NSW universities in the red as plague of cuts hit students & staff

    April 30, 2025

    Your Compliance Will Not Save You

    April 16, 2025
    Facebook Instagram X (Twitter) TikTok

    From the mines

    • News
    • Analysis
    • Higher Education
    • Culture
    • Features
    • Investigation
    • Comedy
    • Editorials
    • Letters
    • Misc

     

    • Opinion
    • Perspective
    • Profiles
    • Reviews
    • Science
    • Social
    • Sport
    • SRC Reports
    • Tech

    Admin

    • About
    • Editors
    • Send an Anonymous Tip
    • Write/Produce/Create For Us
    • Print Edition
    • Locations
    • Archive
    • Advertise in Honi Soit
    • Contact Us

    We acknowledge the traditional custodians of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. The University of Sydney – where we write, publish and distribute Honi Soit – is on the sovereign land of these people. As students and journalists, we recognise our complicity in the ongoing colonisation of Indigenous land. In recognition of our privilege, we vow to not only include, but to prioritise and centre the experiences of Indigenous people, and to be reflective when we fail to be a counterpoint to the racism that plagues the mainstream media.

    © 2025 Honi Soit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms
    • Accessibility

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.