The state of NSW recorded 830 new cases of COVID-19 on Sunday alongside one new case of schadenfreude, as a local NSW man expressed his true feelings at New Zealand’s growing Delta cluster, which last reported 21 new cases on Sunday.
“I know it’s horrible to say this,” said Trevor Trevorson, 34, as he looked around nervously, “but I’m kind of thrilled to see that New Zealand has fucked up as well. I mean, sure they have nicer people, a better lifestyle, a working health system, cooler nature sights, a better rugby team, a Prime Minister who is capable of expressing empathy, and a good handle on COVID so far. But you can’t tell me that you didn’t feel good at knocking the Kiwis down a peg.”
Trevorson, who has been described by acquaintances as “a sad little man”, also slammed “Dictator Dan” Andrews in Victoria, which recorded 65 new cases on Sunday, including one in regional Victoria. “To be honest, I’m just glad we’re beating Victoria in something.”
Trevorson told The Boot that he is hoping to follow his passion of profiting off other people’s misery by becoming a tabloid reporter for the Daily Mail.