Comedy //

USyd students make their own iced coffees as hail falls on Sydney

It turns out Starbucks doesn't have a patent on ice!

Students were shocked last week when the solid half of iced coffee started raining from the sky. The Boot can confirm that multiple people around the Inner West were seen almost falling off their balconies with their keep-cups raised to the heavens, desperately attempting to capture the free ice. 

There was speculation as to whether this was a Starbucks promotional stunt, but the company denied involvement publicly. 

“As much as we’d like to control the weather, that’s not part of our advertised corporate mission,” a Starbucks spokesmermaid relayed. 

Others have expressed concern that the weather was watering down lakes, rivers, and other bodies of water with the recent ice storm.

“That’s how they get ya, they load it up with ice and make you think you’re getting more than you are. It’s a scam! Ask for no ice, you get 50% more beverage that way.” An anonymous student conveyed to the editors in a muffled phone call.

The editors of The Boot would like the public to know that it is possible to make ice artificially, but will note that the SRC Chaplain said it was an act against god. The Boot was contacted by a concerned student who was worried about the future of iced beverages in Sydney.

“If people don’t have to pay $9.50 for an Iced Macchiato, then how do I know they’re camp?”

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