Why is Honi Soit writing about John Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg, grandson of JFK? Is it not antithetical to all we do? Are we not supposed to counter culture? But what is more counterculture than to pull an UNO reverse and interview a Kennedy who was also a student contributor at the Yale Daily News, The Yale Herald, and The Yale Bullblog. After all, it prepared him for the (subtle) politicisation of Vogue as political correspondent.
When I contacted Schlossberg, the answer was an immediate yes, but it became a matter of coordinating schedules across time zones. He just missed out on being featured in Honi’s Art edition where he was going to talk about body sculpting. If you think I’m kidding, check out his tweet where he ponders “Jesus Christ’s body type.”
Jack-out-of-the-box
Son of US Ambassador to Australia Caroline Kennedy, and her husband Edwin Schlossberg, Jack Schlossberg studied History at Yale and holds a JD and MBA from Harvard. At this point, he is adamant to note that he was more inspired by Elle Woods than JFK, arguing that “only one of them said that the law is reason free from passion.”
I then asked Schlossberg to introduce himself to the uninitiated, and at first he quoted The Daily Mail, “JFK’s hunky, half-dressed grandson who’s a topless TikTok sensation and now Vogue’s new political expert” before elaborating:
“Firstly, call me Jack. I am just a man who wants to make some change in the world, whether that be introducing younger generations to Lord Bryon or handing out the Profile in Courage Award.”
On occasion, he refers to himself as “an influencer from Boston, MA.” I did put forward the case for white man of the month(s) leading up to the 2024 US Presidential election but was rebuffed as it centred him over the elections.
After much discussion I discovered that we had the following things in common: frequently wearing black, practising Catholicism, thinking that Shawn Mendes is the voice of a generation, romanticising libraries, having stylish mothers, and googling random asf questions.
Jack also loves paddling, cumquats, matcha, X-Men: First Class and his celebrity crush growing up was Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality.
Australia’s adopted son
I asked about what Australian-isms he has adopted, and he says that his “mom with an O says Autumn now” so he says Autumn now. He explains that Americans say ‘it feels autumnal’, not ‘it feels fall’” so it makes sense.
“I fuck with Bluey though, he’s the next best Democrat candidate. He’s a citizen of the world!”
VC: You also pull off an Australian accent! Did you see the quote tweet comparing you to Andy Lee?
JS: Who?
VC: To be honest, I don’t know either. But I know that you look like him.
“Well, no compliment is out of bounds in the brat economy,” he quipped. “Girt by sea!”
Accents down pat, I asked if Jack considers an acting career, perhaps once TikTok gets bought by Elon Musk.
“I have been auditioning actually. My first on-screen appearance was in the season 8 finale of Blue Bloods as a cop. Acting is a dream come true. Ronald Reagan was an actor, so there’s no stopping me. There’s no stopping Elon either.”
Forget the cop role, did he just hint at an SCHLOSSBERG2028 campaign?
“I know how it looks from the outside, but I don’t think I can say that yet. I personally think young people have a duty to vote for Hillary Clinton… at least once. But I’ll need to confirm that Kamala doesn’t do reruns.”
VC: If you do run for president, will it be KENNEDY20 – – ?
JS: How my dad behaves will determine if I keep Schlossberg.
I was not sure I completely followed when Jack revealed the reason he decided against attending the University of Sydney Business School. “My family didn’t exist in the context of its history. I mean why name the building Abercrombie when it could be called Kennedy?”
He also went on a tangent about how President Kennedy was the original Ken and that the doll was created in 1961 to distract from the Bay of Pigs invasion.
So I pivoted to ask about the upgrade from law to journalism.
“I like to think of myself as an ocean, swimming from island to island. I can’t bind myself to one institution, that’s a betrayal of my values. Institutions rarely change, but people evolve. So I will go where the waves take me.”
VC: Were you ever involved in Stupol and if so, what does that look like in the US?
JS: Stupol is frankly stupid. I don’t just mean the scene, but why on earth do you use that acronym — can’t everybody down under say student politics?
Let the man speak.
Come on, vogue!
I was given an exclusive look at the Vogue US headquarters via Zoom, and at one point said: “Would you mind moving to the left a bit more, you’ve been hovering over a Biden poster for a while.”
Then I got into hard-hitting journalism.
VC: Was it a condition of you joining Vogue to have your ‘welcome to me’ interview?
JS: You think I just fell out of a coconut tree?
VC: Actually, you kind of did.
JS: Well, thank you.
VC: “Is there a dress code?”
JS: Anything that Anna Wintour wouldn’t wear.
VC: Do you have a dedicated office space or do you WFH?
JS: I do have flexible working arrangements. I mostly write in my head while I’m paddling. When I get home, I note them down.
VC: Do you have a quota that you need to hit with the number of articles or are you immune from critics piling on you if you haven’t written consistently throughout the year?
JS: I can see a nepo baby question from miles away. I agree that I have privilege in that sense. My name is a suit of armour that I cannot take for granted. All I can do is work on my assignments and if I slack off, I hope that the higher-ups will act swiftly to manage my performance.
VC: How many bylines do you have?
JS: I don’t check Muck Rack anymore, it’s just unhealthy.
VC: Most of your opinion pieces are paywalled despite your role at Vogue intended to get young people interested in politics. Or is it more for the goodwill and prestige of having you on board?
JS: Yes.
VC: “Is there a HR department at Vogue?”
JS: No comment (allegedly).
Forced to work, born to yap.
Moving on from a HR nightmare, Jack then volunteered to clarify his hot take on Italian food due to the reception to one of his TikToks.
“I have nothing against the Italians but I just don’t consider pizza theirs. It has been co-opted to a point beyond return. I also don’t like pasta, there’s just too much of it. Plus, there’s no more fish left in the sea. Stop eating them and save the planet!””
Safe to say someone’s not going to Ferragosto anytime soon.
From Italy to France, we both lamented the fact that Dua Lipa did not perform ‘Training Season’ at the Olympics’ closing ceremony.
“Credit to Red Chilli Peppers, Billie and Snoop but where was Dua? Charli? By the way, do you ever think about how the album is called brat but there is no song called brat. That’s peak brat behaviour.”
This man is chronically, chronically online.
Given, Jack had interviewed Barack Obama before I asked if he knew why Obama didn’t include a Chappell Roan song in his Summer Playlist. Was it because she refused to perform at the White House Pride Month in protest of American domestic and foreign policy?
“Dude, you’re playing with fire, bro,” before continuing, “I think Obama is going to make playlists on a bi-annual basis — one for the Northern Hemisphere and one for the Southern. So there’s still time.”
We did wade into the topic of the upcoming elections, and Jack appealed to the Americans on campus: “The highest office is that of citizen! Vote!”
I wanted to clarify if he meant the US or SRC elections but cognisant of the remaining time, I tried to invite Jack to our Student Media Conference before remembering our strict no-nepo baby policy.
“That’s alright, I only go to symposiums and summits anyways,” adding that he had to go visit his wife. I asked, no demanded, clarification, and he simply responded: “I’m going to see Douglas Emhoff [Kamala Harris’ husband].”
And just like that, our date was over.
Note: This interview was not real (don’t sue me Jack, this was for fun).
