“I have been brushing my hair dry every day for years, I have been walking around looking like Hagrid,” Lexi spouts daily.
Local girl Lexi has newly discovered she has “curly” hair and has excitedly told her friends she is embracing the curly girl method for her cascading 2B locks. Curls are classified by an alphanumeric system from 2A-2C to 4A-4B, as the number increases so does the tightness of the curl. Lexi’s curls by this metric are to be considered loose waves.
“I am still working out my routine, but at the moment I have my silk pillowcase, shampoo and conditioner (vegan and no paraben of course). Then I have my Olaplex No. 3 which I leave in for 15 minutes then mousse-setting gel comes next to keep my hair hydrated, and lastly I leave it to dry upside down so gravity helps my curls form”.
When asked where she gets her information from, Lexi takes biblical authority from the pillar of society: Tiktok. “I have learnt so much about ‘the curly girl method’ and all the different curl types. It’s a lifestyle, truly an inspiring philosophy. I didn’t realise how much it would change my relationship with myself and the way I perceive myself and interact with men. #CGM #4B”
Lexi had a passion in her eyes talking about silk pillowcases and bonnets and no paraben products, “bonnets really are for everyone, it’s time we take care and invest in ourselves, because look at the state of the world around us, they certainly do not care about us. So say no to parabens, no to sex with men, no to giving birth, no to dating men, no to marriage with men.”
Amala, Lexi’s best friend, has noticed a change in Lexi’s agenda in conversation but puts it down to “zealotry of the convert.” Amala said “You know these curly girls, for them it’s a lifestyle, they believe the movement is for everyone, but not everyone has naturally curly hair, and I’m not forcing it, and I have no idea what it has to do with rejecting men!”
Australian Security Intelligence Office (ASIO) is encouraged to review its security threats and methods of radicalisation as your friendly neighbourhood curly girl could be undergoing radicalisation right now.
