“I’m not really a flat Earther, it’s just my alter ego.” A sentence I have repeatedly stated to people over the past few years. I, her alter ego, used to be inextricably connected to Cassidy. Now I am just a part of her that appears when she needs to laugh. The big question is: how did I become Cassidy’s flat earth alter ego?
Cassidy’s childhood was characterised by The X-Files in the background while she played, and watching ‘Aliens — Real Footage’ videos before bed. Her Dad was always a little skeptical, teaching her about the Area 51 conspiracy theory as a six-year-old. As she and her brother grew up, they shared a book about conspiracy theories, each taking turns to read it, over and over again.
This little spark of curiosity exploded when she discovered Shane Dawson’s conspiracy theory videos (before all the weird stuff, of course). One in particular, ‘Mind Blowing Conspiracy Theories’, had a new segment where Shane and his brother discussed the flat Earth theory. This was my origin.
As Cassidy grew up, her interest in conspiracy theories dwindled, partly because the mere mention of a conspiracy theory made everyone see a tinfoil hat on her head. How could she talk about something without people discrediting her as a person?
Create an alter ego.
My first appearance was in her senior years of high school, where, in a consistently boring class, Cassidy needed to do something interesting and funny. She turned to her two best friends and said, “did you know I am a flat Earther?” Condescending looks. Giggling. Immediate disbelief. They immediately tried to debunk the theory, telling me how silly I was for believing it.
I wouldn’t be a useful alter ego if I didn’t know my stuff. I had an array of arguments up my sleeve that I would produce with unabashed belief. I had an image on hand — “look at the flat Earth map vs the United Nations logo”. “Why can’t we go to Antarctica by ourselves? Because they don’t want you to discover the ice wall”. And when all else failed, a simple “have you ever been to space and saw that the world was round?” was the cherry on top.
From friends, to family, to nurses in the psych ward, I would appear often. Somewhere towards the end of the conversation Cassidy would say, “I told you I wasn’t a flat earther, it was just my alter ego”, and people would realise they’d just debated for no apparent reason. This was Cassidy’s favourite part.
It always did intrigue her as to why people were so insistent on debunking the theory. If it’s such an illogical theory, why do we try so hard to debunk it? When you Google, ‘flat earth theory’, why are all the top results about discrediting the theory?
It was interesting. It was also funny. Watching people laugh as I mentioned the silliest flat earth arguments. Listening to how people would refute different points. “Look at pictures from NASA”, they’d instruct. “We can see the curvature of the Earth”, they’d refute. “It’s been debunked”, with a tone of finality. I’d watch their exasperated looks while I shook my head and explained it was all linked to the New World Order or the Illuminati or Reptilians (I had to keep it interesting).
Was I created to seriously advocate for the theory, or to have fun? A little bit of both. Cassidy is not a flat Earther. But that one Shane Dawson video (I know, I’m sorry), will stick with her.
At the same time, nothing could beat the laughter that followed when I defended the theory by saying, “the word ‘planet’ is just the word ‘plane’ with a ‘t’. Add an interest in conspiracy theories, a love for debating, and a fulfillment from laughter, you end up with a conspiracy theorist for an alter ego. Or perhaps, you have a Dad who shows you videos he took of UFOs above your house.
