This year we’ve been told Gen Z and Millennials will outnumber Baby Boomers in the election. The candidates have also been told, now desperately trying to ‘appeal to the youth’. Attempts have been made;
- The Green’s Stephen Bates posted on Instagram ‘subscribe to my Only Fans’.
- The Coalition’s (likely to be broken) promise to reverse the vape ban.
- One Nation non-consensually used cartoon Robert Irwin in their campaign.
- Labour’s making Cap Cut montages of Albo saying he loves vegemite.
- Adam Bandt from The Greens sold tickets to his DJ set promoted by Abbie Chatfield.
- One Nation’s Gavin Wright made a remix of 7 Nation Army (the poor White Stripes).
- And now, the Coalition has released a diss track and I’ve hit my limit.
I have led a relatable life when it comes to politics. First I was a little girl who thought Kevin07 was a celebrity. Then I got a little older and forgot which one was the Prime Minister and I wasn’t bothered to keep up. Tribute to tweenage ‘whatever mum’ attitude. Then I was told I would be fined if I didn’t vote so I dragged myself out of bed to draw a dick over some randoms’ names. My first time at the polling booth, I proudly justified my donkey vote by claiming I was too ill-informed to make the “right” choice so it was better to leave the decision to those who had done their homework. I genuinely believed I was being smarter than my peers. While they were skewing electoral results, I was sitting on my high horse or rather, donkey.
Now being informed has become fashionable and ill-informed, embarrassing. At the same time, it’s hard to get too deep into your feed without a news piece appearing. The world has become so dystopian that newspapers have become sitcom scripts. ‘The News’ shocks and thus intrigues us. I also realised that policies may actually affect debt-ridden, rent-paying, little old me. So yes, I have paid attention to this election and I think most of us have. In the end of this growing-up fairytale, I will think before I number my ballot paper come Saturday. I have officially had the wool removed from mine eyes and it has been revealed that… we’re doomed. I’m not head over heels for any of em. I’m tempted to use the honey badger’s tactic on The Bachelor and give no one my rose.
Do you remember when the ick was invented; once you’ve got the ick, it’s over for them, no going back. The desperate attempts to win our generation over make me grit my teeth, I’ve got the ick. Let the 14th of April mark the day the Coalition carked it, with a gravestone that reads: Cause of death “the ick.” For that was the day they dropped a diss track on the Labour party. Please don’t listen to it, don’t give them the plays. The song is posted on SoundCloud and features a bot-sounding American rapper over a track that sounds like Eminem from Temu.
It currently has 40 likes and 138 comments. Some of which read;
Delete this asap 💔💔💔
AI slop
I would rather live in a communist country than vote in a party making this shit
Goes hard on mute 🔇🔥
I feel so embarrassed for everyone involved in this.
And worst of all; “As an American, not even we will stoop this low rn”
It feels like a sick joke. The product of kick ons at Parliament House (may the track record show this is NEVER a good idea).
“It’s a serious message in a new format”, says a Coalition spokesperson. There’s nothing serious about it, it feels like you’re taking the piss out of us. Creating this image of Gen Z being too dumb to understand their policies and with such short attention spans, they have to use memes to get our votes.
Make it stop. Make it all stop. The half arsed brown nosing of our generation. The oversimplification of our interests to cutting HECS and cheaper rent. The parties hire a token young-person to run their social media, whipped to pump out meme after meme. Do they think we are so simple?
Albanese appeared on the “youth podcast” Bloody Brilliant Beers last week (his team reached out to them for an interview). He treated the platform as a stage to demonstrate his footy knowledge (extensive) and when asked for a reply to the diss track, explained “mate, I was a dj. DJ Albo… they’re all just playing catch up mate”.
Mate you legend. No one wants to watch your boomer index finger tapping the sync button. Don’t threaten us.
At this point, it’s clear: no diss track, no DJ set, no trending meme will save them. Gen Z and Millennials aren’t wooed by this stupid shit.
We’re angry, we’re paying attention, and we can smell their desperation and it’s reeking up the election campaign. Treat us like the adults we are and give us policies we can vote for.
