In an unexpected announcement made by the White House earlier today, President Donald Trump signed an executive order to shut down all overseas CIA black sites.
The executive order is part of the Trump administration’s aggressive rolling back of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) government programs. Federal agencies like the FAA have been hit hardest by the roll backs, experiencing aggressive funding cuts and mass firings.
Experts anticipate the newest executive order as part of a concerted effort by the Trump administration to enact anti-DEI policy worldwide. The administration claimed that the executive order’s intended goal is to target “woke aspects” of American overseas intelligence overlooked by previous Republican administrations.
“The Democrats made the CIA woke.” President Trump claimed. “We just want to make it work.”
President Trump briefly explained the administration’s motivation behind the executive order, citing aspects of the black sites deemed to be “woke”.
In particular, the President drew concern at the word “black” in the name of the sites, emphasising that it was “woke”. He cautioned against the use of the word by pointing out its inclusion in a list of politically-charged words that the new administration encouraged federal agencies to limit using.
The executive order also saw the rolling back of other “woke” terminology involved in the operation of black sites like the use of “enhanced interrogation techniques”, which the Trump administration saw as part of a “far-left agenda” to “make torture woke.”
“Everyone knows what enhanced interrogation really means.” He told reporters earlier today.
The President went on to say that the closing of the black sites would be accompanied by their domestic relocation into the United States in order to boost the American economy and bring back American jobs.
“The migrants are stealing American jobs.” President Trump claimed, mentioning agents working on these sites. However, the President seemed unaware that most CIA operatives working on the black sites were American citizens.
“There’s plenty of very good, very hard working Americans that would love to work on these sites.” He said.
“But the phony Democrats moved them [the sites] offshore to keep the American people poor and unemployed.”
“I mean, just think about the beautiful Jan Sixers that I pardoned.” Trump said, referencing those he pardoned that were charged for various offenses related to the January 6 Capitol attack.
“They were treated so bad by the Democrats and now that they’re free, they’ve got nowhere to go and nothing to do. We’re letting good people with really good skills just go to waste, aren’t we?” President Trump seemed to be alluding to the Jan 6ers as the only ones with enough blind zeal to pull off the jobs in the new black sites.
In closing, the President addressed concerns that operations in these sites would become too expensive now that they were employing American citizens. He reassured reporters that he would “do something about it”.
While Democrats have largely stayed silent on the order, critics of Trump from further left have unusually welcomed it, citing it as moving towards the end of American imperialism.
