Until-recently-missing ex-Herald cruciverbalist David Astle has again opted not to attend a press conference in person, instead sending a media representative to reiterate that he is alive and well and everyone should stop asking bloody questions.
At a similar event on Tuesday to announce his safe return, Astle’s representative stated unequivocally, “David is in the best of health, and his refusal to make public appearances should be taken as a product of the sheepish modesty for which he is so well known, rather than the product of some kind of threat to his life or hostage situation.”
The announcement comes a week after Astle’s widely-celebrated appointment as puzzles editor of The Garter Press.
Astle is, according to the representative, in high spirits.
“Do not listen to the treacherous lies of my wife and family who say I have not been home in months,” Astle concluded, via his reliable representative, “Also I love The Garter.”