What should have been a simple flag-raising ceremony and minute’s silence turned into a national scandal in Canberra this morning. The veteran commemoration ceremony, rather than celebrating the work of Australia’s servicemen and women, was instead marred by a series of mistakes.The veteran commemoration ceremony was met with scorn from attendees when, officials raised the flag backwards.
After recognising the mistake, officials were quick to lower the flag, ensure it was facing the right way, and raise it again. But having tried to correct their woeful, disgusting mistake once, they raised it backwards again.
Filthy, unpatriotic trash: proof that dirtbag officials hate their magnificent country.
The event’s speaker was Neil Fight, 1978 Australian of the Year. In his speech, Fight discussed the importance of the Australian flag as a symbol of what it meant to be Australian. He was seen to shake his head in shame, and over the podium microphone was heard to mutter “This is the sort of useless sewer-scraping garbage which is diminishing the true blue Australian spirit.”
Repulsed, but undeterred, by the actions of the rubbish tip clowns responsible, Fight bravely continued with the marred ceremony, calling for the scheduled minute’s silence. Again, things failed to go as planned.
Throughout the minute, witnesses described an “angry swishing noise,” and a strange whistling coming from between buildings. Nearby trees waved their leaves and shook their branches. Despite the distressing furore, officials did nothing to quieten the offenders.
“It’s the sort of event that the community is meant to come together for. They couldn’t even arrange a team that knew how to fly the flag. And then that horrible noise…” local woman Dora Parsons complained, “I’ve been to so many of these events, and, previously, they’ve all been beautiful. It seems that we have lost something. And that’s such a shame.”
Fight along with many of the attendants, left the event in disgust.
“It’s appalling,” said Fight, a veteran who was as much to be commemorated as to commence the event. At press time, he was seen removing his forty war medals, dropping them on the ground, and grinding them into the dirt.
The ceremony and its slip ups represent yet another embarrassment for a government already struggling in the polls.
The flag was later lowered to half-mast to commemorate the death of the flag.