Your caps are dirty

VICE has embarked on a nationwide journey to test the MDMA you shelved in an Ivy bathroom on Saturday night, returning with results that absolutely zero punters are surprised about: it’s dirty.

Only fifty samples were tested across Sydney, Melbourne, Wollongong, Hobart, Perth, Adelaide, Geelong and Brisbane (looks like all you rave enthusiasts were less willing to ‘fess up than your enlarged pupils suggested). Despite this incredibly small sample size, VICE‘s studies revealed that a whopping 70 per cent of assumed pure MDMA actually contained other chemicals.

Dextromethorphan (DXM) — a chemical used in cough syrup that can hinder breathing when ingested in high doses — was the most common contaminator, followed by amphetamine (also known as: ‘why did that one cap make me stay awake for 36 hours’).

The investigation follows multiple deaths from drug overdoses at music festivals and an increased push to allow professional drug testing in high-risk environments.

Recent studies conducted by UNSW showed millennials and youth generally favour pure MDMA crystals over ecstasy pills. VICE’s research mirrors this trend towards safer drug use, with a majority of participants deciding to lay off the gurn once they discovered the contamination of their goods.

“This MDMA Census is just a start,” said VICE Features Editor Maddison Connaughton.

“In cities all across Australia we got really different results, but the one consistent thing was that young people wanted access to professional pill testing services.”

The path to drug transparency and safe ingestion is one still paved with opposition. It may be a long time coming, but until then, enjoy your next hangovers — just get a testing kit, and be aware of whatever’s going into your body.