For another year, the elected representatives of the University of Sydney’s Student Representative Council have convened on the first Wednesday, sometimes Tuesday, of every month to discuss motions and have political discussions about the pressing issues of our time.
It is simultaneously the living breath of student democracy and also the place where you go to lose faith in humanity. Egos abound, smug and cynical quips are a rite of passage, and debates quickly devolve into shouting matches. Honi looks back on the worst shenanigans, the best moments, and the craziest takes of the year.
That was actually kind of nice!
Labor claps for SAlt
Deaglan Godwin (SAlt) spoke against Tiger Perkins’ (Grassroots) amendment to acknowledge the progressive No movement for the Voice saying it goes “against the spirit of the motion.” A rare moment where Labor and SAlt agreed!
Badmintongate
The Liberals definitely take the cake for saying the most messed up things this year on Council but the sheer absurdity as this unfolded was a marvel.
For context, NLS proposed a badminton competition for international students and a lot of the Left did not take it well:
Lily Wei (Penta): “I support this motion because this will be a great celebration of international students on campus.”
Julius Whitforth (SAlt) speaks against the motion: “It’s ridiculous to think that, to alleviate the serious challenges faced by international students, we’re going to hold a fucking badminton tournament.”
Alex Poirier (Unity) speaks in support of the motion, noting that “this is the first step towards engagement for international students.”
Jasmine Donnelly (NLS): “We asked International Students’ OBs what they wanted, and they asked for a badminton competition.”
“Please don’t be lame about this. It’s a fun time and they asked for it.”
Jamie Bridge (SLA): “Are we here for a fun time, or are we here to get shit done? What part of supporting international students involves badminton?”
Angus Dermody (Soli): “Albanese is leading the drive to war. That is a far bigger threat to Chinese international students than the lack of badminton tournaments on campus.”
Jack Scanlan (NLS): “Badminton represents a way to bridge the divide between international students and the SRC.”
Scanlan then compared badminton tournaments to smoking ceremonies for First Nations people, to incredulous heckles from SAlt and Soli.
Deaglan Godwin (SAlt): “I honestly don’t know where to begin.”
Thinkers.
Ben McGrory (Independent): “The past 20 minutes have been a demonstration of why we need a Voice to Parliament (…) a bunch of non-Indigenous people fighting about what Indigenous people need.”
Sums up a lot that is wrong with Council (and Australia).
President Lia Perkins, “The ironic thing about being the Chair is that you have to stand and everyone else gets to sit.”
Outgoing Pres Perkins gives us much to think about.
Tiger Perkins (Grassroots) said “trying to get money for activism is like trying to draw blood from a stone”.
Wise.
Victor Zhang (Engineers) speaks as “someone who is capable of building killer robots” to say that they don’t like killer robots and let’s not build them.
Victor with a subtle flex of his STEM credentials..
Headscratchers.
Tom (Liberal Interfaith Officer) opens by saying that they’d “like to address the issue of the oppressed” and that “no one has been more oppressed than our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ.”
I mean, he does hold all the power in all the universe!
Wolf of Wentworth
Satvik Sharma (Liberal) said that all those who are oppressed around the globe “are the investment bankers and the consultants,” before calling for “the complete deregulation of the financial sector.”
“Talking about the Afghani civilians staring down the barrel of a Thales gun, does this same principle apply to Nazi German soldiers looking down the barrel of an Australian infantry gun in WWII?”
This one from Cooper Gannon (Liberal) still makes no sense.
Eshays at Council?!
In the July meeting, Satvik Sharma (Liberal) brought an eshay cheer squad who bickered at the back for around 20 minutes before leaving. Bizarre.
Quippalicious (mostly the Deaglan show).
“Ooooh, secret. He thinks he’s a secret agent or something.”
Deaglan Godwin (SAlt) says about Ben Jorgenson (Liberal) who said that they “will be vague and and will be non-descript” in their answers about their role on USyd Senate, due to the sensitive nature of their work.
Deaglan Godwin (SAlt): “Satvik, were you just a loser at Fort Street High?”
A good old fashioned ad hominem.
“Can someone shoot this guy down?”
Deaglan Godwin (SAlt) about Satvik when he randomly spoke on the Chinese spy balloon shot down over US airspace.
Deaglan Godwin (SAlt): “George Orwell shot people like you.”
Deaglan to Satvik Sharma (Liberals) after Satvik said that “George Orwell would be smiling” at the SRC Left bloc.
Iggy Boyd (Grassroots) replies, “You’re not very good at this…bring the other ones back!”
Boyd to Thomas Thorpe in the May meeting when he asks, “You talk about Israel being racist, do you think Hamas is racist?”
N-T-E-U! You know what we’re here to do!
Cooper Gannon (Liberal): “Can you name one or two things that the recent strikes have changed?”
Harrison Brennan (Grassroots): “Yes, management have changed their bargaining agreement with the union.”
Gerard Buttigieig (NLS) to a fleeing Satvik: “Look at you run away, you little coward. How the fuck do you sleep at night?”
I’ve heard Papa Reagan gives him a forehead kiss and tucks him into bed.
Jasmine Donnelly (NLS): “I’m running for DSP because Honi Soit’s been pissing me off all year.”
No hard feelings!
How-far-will-they-go Lib takes.
Satvik Sharma (Liberal) “There is only one solution to our public housing crisis (…) privatise all our social housing”.
Not a ridiculous one liner, just sigh.
“Says you!”
Sam Barry (Liberal/National, same thing) cannot contain his genius when he responded to Deaglan who said, “You’re disgusting!” to the Liberals as they would not condemn the military presence at the protests in France which led to a 17 year old being shot dead by police.
Cooper Gannon (Liberal) proposed a new OLE he called “BOMB1001” and said that the Department of Defence should “not just recruit at O-Week but every week.”
A proper headscratcher.
Thomas Thorpe (Liberal): “We should love refugees as we love all people, but it all boils down to how we manage them.”
Surprise! The Liberal Party dehumanising refugees!
“If you’re homeless, buy a house!”
Liberal NPC says let them eat cake.
Satvik Sharma (Liberal) urged the SRC to “stand in global solidarity with Ron DeSantis”.
Just one week ago, DeSantis arranged weapons and drones to be sent to Israel.
Satvik reads off a ChatGPT poem to Lockheed Martin (has happened twice).
Pure WTF moment. It’s easy to laugh at the Libs but Lockheed Martin supplies weapons to war criminals.
Satvik Sharma (Liberal) said at February Council that it was “sunny” today, but will be “partly cloudy” tomorrow, saying that the “climate is always changing” and that “he needs to warn Albo.”
Straight up climate denialism.
Freya Leach (Liberal) calls Israel “the only true democracy in the Middle East”.
Seriously?
Satvik Sharma (Liberal) argued that “stopping the boats was a good thing that saved lives.”
Sharma with a NIMBY approach to human rights.
“I’ll remind you that he was acquitted.”
Thomas Thorpe (Liberal) clarified that the Liberals were not attending George Pell’s funeral as they did not receive an invite, noting that he was acquitted. Speaks for itself.
Cooper Gannon (Liberal) said that if left wing groups can protest George Pell’s funeral, right wing organisations should be able to hire and fire whoever they like based on sexuality.
Cooked.
“Why is colonialism bad, Tiger? There was no slavery in Australia.”
Thomas Thorpe (Liberal) is always so calm and collected when dishing out these colossally bad takes.
