CW: references to violence against women, children and men, including domestic and family violence, sexual violence, coercive control and murder.
Support services:
- Call Emergency Triple Zero (000) if you are in immediate danger.
- Book a free confidential chat with the University of Sydney’s Safer Communities service: call +61 2 8627 6808 or email [email protected]
- For 24/7 free and confidential support contact:
- Rainbow Sexual, Domestic and Family Violence Helpline at 1800 497 212
- National Sexual Abuse and Redress Support Service at 1800 211 028
- NSW Sexual Violence Helpline at 1800 424 017
- Full Stop Australia’s National Violence and Abuse Trauma Counselling and Recovery Service at 1800 FULL STOP (1800 385 578)
- Call the NSW Domestic Violence Line (1800 656 463) for free counselling and referral services.
- NSW Domestic Violence website can provide you with a wide range of information about domestic violence if you are at risk or are concerned about another person.
- The Women’s Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service can provide you with information, advocacy and referrals if you or your children have been experiencing domestic and family violence. Call 1800 WDVCAS (1800 938 227).
- If you have experienced or witnessed a violent crime in NSW, you can apply for 22 free counselling sessions under the Victims Services scheme. There does not need to be a charge for you to access this support.
- For inquiries regarding the Healing and Recovery for Survivors (HeRS) Counselling Program call 02 8585 0368 or email [email protected].
On Tuesday November 26, the ‘Unite Against Violence: No More Shoes’ vigil took place in central Martin Place as part of a collaborative effort between government and non-profit organisations, including the NSW Vigil Collective, City of Sydney Council, Full Stop Australia, Lou’s Place, Domestic Violence NSW, Hope-Heals, Moving Forward, Settlement Services International and Muslim Women Australia.
The vigil took place close to the courts and NSW Parliament House, a reminder of how justice is not properly served for victims of violence. The audience was predominantly made up of women, with speakers commenting how there was an increased attendance rate of men compared to last year.
Shoes were placed around the square to symbolise every woman who was murdered in an act of violence since late last year, with the most recent murder occurring this month. The data was supplied by Destroy the Joint’s project called “Counting Dead Women”.
Organisations like Barnardos Australia also had pamphlets and signs with statistics like “1 in 4 children are impacted by domestic and family violence” and that “at least 15 children are killed.”
A representative from the Metropolitan Local Aboriginal Land Council began the vigil with a Welcome to Country in the Bial Bial language and in English. The representative then taught the crowd the Aboriginal greeting “Woromi”, and spoke about the history of the Gadigal people, the “grasstree” people.
She also briefly spoke as “a survivor of family and domestic violence” and reiterated the importance of this event, saying “may we never stay silent, ever”.
Nadine from Hope-Heals reiterated the “vital role” that men are to play in helping end violence, noting that violence is enabled by silence. Nadine explained that by shattering the silence it sends a message to the entirety of society that everyone is “united against violence in all its forms and committed to creating a world free from abuse and harm”.
Delia Donovan from Domestic Violence NSW, the state-wide peak body for specialist family violence services, spoke next. Donovan began by saying that we are gathered here to “mourn, remember and confront some harsh truths. Domestic and family violence is preventable”.
“Did you wake up this morning and get to choose what you were wearing? Did you get to choose how to spend your money on a coffee this morning?,” she asked, reminding the crowd that victims of domestic violence are often stripped of the right to choose what to wear, how to spend money and be able to freely make day-to-day decisions.
Donovan then stated that it is common to think of domestic violence as the “physical scars”, but that “control, fear and manipulation can leave the deepest wounds”.
She ended her speech by encouraging action beyond the legal requirements, saying that “the change we need will not come from one law alone but from a culture where no one will tolerate abuse.”
Daniel Principe, 2025 NSW Australian of the Year nominee, spoke to the privilege afforded to him “as a man to speak harsh truths”, addressing men as needing to listen to the realities of women and girls.
“I invite boys to listen and consider what life might be like for girls who grew up in a world where they are often ignored, dismissed and objectified,” Principe continued.
He then shared experiences from 12, 13 and 14-year-old girls, including stories of sexual harassment:
- “Us girls are not feeling safe or comfortable to raise these issues.”
- “I hear the sexual comments but choose to ignore them. It doesn’t mean I forget them.”
- “We are afraid to be in a relationship.”
- “Don’t make fun of our bodies”
Principe concluded with a statement addressed to women, saying, “I’m sorry we haven’t held men accountable. I’m sorry you have been dehumanised. I’m sorry that I’m here speaking today and not you.”
Darryl Gardiner, a victim-survivor of family violence spoke to his personal experience where he “was conditioned by what [he] saw and felt, and didn’t know how to break free from that cycle of abuse.”
Gardiner also drew attention to the fact that Indigenous women are at “greater risk of domestic violence”.
“Today I want to speak about the power of change, and to remind men that we are not just helpless bystanders. We must challenge the toxic behaviours that have become ingrained in our culture and rewrite the script for future generations”.
Jan, a representative of Moving Forward, then read the names of the women who have been killed in the last year. Many women were unnamed or unidentified, and of various ages. All women were killed by “someone who they knew and thought cared about them”, including current partners, ex-partners, a man known to them, family members, neighbours, or their children.
Jan also placed a teddy bear to represent the children who have been killed in domestic violence, “for whom there is no body to count them”.
Chairwoman and representative from Lou’s Place urged attendees to “place pressure on the government to implement recommended changes in domestic family violence and fund organisations like the ones here today”.
Between speeches, singer Melinda Schneider performed her songs ‘One Voice’ and ‘Courageous’.
To find out more about Destroy the Joint’s Counting Dead Women project, click here.
