An alien child kidnapped me and forced me to write this edition.
Harold, the name of the alien, told me: “Charlotte, Charlotte you know that silly little student newspaper you write for? You must expose the perils of capitalism, and how conspiracies exist not to destroy it, but to ensure its survival, feeding the illusion of control you humans seem to love so much.”
I looked at his opal eyes in shock. “What do you mean, who are you, can I see inside your UFO?.”
“You’re too short for the UFO, sorry.” Harold said neutrally.
“Anyway, do you mind putting me on your front cover? I went human shopping the other day with my mother and I’m so interested in this system of yours, it’s so cool how very few people have the most. On my planet we have a guy named Karl Marx who runs the joint with us.”
“Oh wow a communist alien who would’ve thought.” I said.
“What’s communism?
“Anyway, what’s your student newspaper called? Honi Soit? Perfect, you should call your edition Conspirasoit.”
“Oh my gosh, Harold, you’re so intelligent!”
While Harold let me go, I had to do what he said because my family weren’t too short for that UFO and now they’re being held hostage on it. Aw shucks.
Within these pages, you’ll find Clara Tan’s Chemist Freakhouse on page 12, detailing the overstimulating nightmare of a place that conspires to destroy your soul. On page 15, you’ll read about Ramla Khalid’s suspicions on free will and on page 17, you’ll discover Cassidy Turrell’s flat earther alter ego.
I hope you enjoy reading Conspirasoit as much as I enjoyed putting it together with my incredible editorial team. As I say in my feature on page 6, learn to breathe together again, keep reading and always question authority.
OMG my family just got thrown out of the UFO, thanks Harold!
Love, Charlotte.
