The Federal Government has received bipartisan support for their decision to appoint Janine Frostworn to the new cabinet position of Minister for the Appeasement of the Dreadful Spectres from the Land of Snow and Ice.
In her inaugural address, Frostworn avoided the pitfall less skilfully negotiated by many of her colleagues, by underpromising, and stressing the need to priorities:
“Something I’ve learned in my time as Minister is that there will always be more things to do; always more goals to strive for; always more passions to pursue, always more Dreadful Spectres in the crevasses.”
But Frostworn is not without her detractors. Independent Senator Brett Hedges declared the creation of the position “a distraction” pandering to “low polls, rather than good policy ideas.”
Frostworn denies the claims, at press time stating “I know that some people have reservations about my appointment and concerns about the post, but the frost beasts can sense fear, and they can commandeer the forms of your loved ones to get what they want.”
When asked what her first move would be in the new position, the minister’s aims were a little closer to home:
“I’m really looking forward to just getting involved, and agreeing upon a safeword with each of my family members, in the event that the Dreadful Spectres attempt to bewitch them with magicke puppetry when winter falls upon the lands.”
In a final rebuke of her critics, Frostworn, directly addressing Hedges, stated:
“You’re not going to remember the detractors. What we, and indeed the whole country will remember is being a part of a great team, and the Unhinged Demonic Mouths, Shouting Into the Frozen Air that we vanquished.”
