A morning after rainbow-coloured hysteria swept newsfeeds everywhere, local Facebook user Nick Carroll has begun to worry about when it’s appropriate to change his rainbow display picture. “You definitely don’t want to be the first”, the openly heterosexual man said, “but if you leave it too long, people might think I’m… you know? It’s like…
The Simpsons is a show that has managed to force its way into the zeitgeist like few other sitcoms, and fewer still animated programs. The beautiful characters that constitute Springfield are among the best written to be found anywhere on television. The franchise is known for the ease with which it integrates big names into…
After thoughtful deliberation with the region’s bishops and priests, this afternoon transferred Brother Lawrence O’Reilly from his position as diocese priest to a new position within the church on Paedophile Island. Father Daniel McReedy was quick to guard against speculative headlines. “We have the utmost respect for Brother O’Reilly,” McReedy stated at a press conference…
Pope Francis has wowed Catholic and non-Catholic audiences alike this week by wearing a very cool black leather jacket. The Pope revealed his cool new jacket, like that sported by popular television character The Fonz, in a post-Easter address at the Apostolic palace. “Just chill!” the pontiff declared from the famous balcony of his official…
G’day weaklings, Literal myth and legend G-d of the Old Testament, here. Seems a lot of people seem to have a problem with my style. The fashionable thing is to wear tight pants and decry my book as past-it while some have nerve to claim that I’m not bloody relevant anymore! Fancy that! It’s not…
A ground-breaking report at Stamford University has today demonstrated that the elderly are actually just older regular people. Rick Parsons, coordinator of the decades long investigation said that the results of the study were “truly incredible”. “Whereas for a long time it seemed as though the elderly were some sort of separate species, unfit for…
A surgery set to break all kinds of records in the world of brain science has gone well this week, when a jock head was transplanted to the donor body of a nerd. Corey Stephenson, a first grade NRL player for the Canterbury Bulldogs, was tragically crippled after a horse riding accident in July last…
A local teenager’s debut YouTube video has today received its 100th view. Every single one of those views was by her mother. Edwina Ipus, 19, uploaded an acoustic guitar cover of Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ on the 5th of February, just over a month ago. Since then her mother, Joanne Caster, has viewed the video…
Archaeologists have found ancient artefacts at a digsite in Gibraltar which show that citizens of the Roman Empire regularly met for dice games at which they would roleplay as twenty-first century, middle class workers with tedious jobs and mortgages. Professor Archie Hats from the Oxford School of Archaeology spear-headed the latest excavations, and said that…