Archaeologists have found ancient artefacts at a digsite in Gibraltar which show that citizens of the Roman Empire regularly met for dice games at which they would roleplay as twenty-first century, middle class workers with tedious jobs and mortgages.
Professor Archie Hats from the Oxford School of Archaeology spear-headed the latest excavations, and said that this find “is it exactly the kind of lame prescience we’ve come to expect of the empire”.
“Theirs was a world of Caesars and peacocks and marble and opulence. It’s only natural to think that for them, escape was the soul-crushing daily grind that defines our epoch.”
The digsite made headlines when what is thought to be the world’s oldest twenty-sided die was discovered in late 2012. Researches established a permanent camp on top of what they suspect was once a semi-permanent coastal outpost.
“The latest discovery is exciting because, along with the infrastructure for the game – dice, drink vessels and furniture – we also found hand-scrawled notes of unfunny office quotes to take out of context, and drawings of scenes in a hypothetical real estate agency.”
“We always knew that the Romans were forward thinking, but now we know that they were forward thinking and big nerds; Neeeeeeeeeerrrrdddddssss.”
