Comedy //

This Woman Gave Birth on Stage and VICE Didn’t Even Write an Article About It

Victoria Zerbst loves sugar and spice and everything VICE.

Yes, I like theatre. The higher the concept the better. I once saw a man piss in his own mouth in Berlin. I am pretty sure that was a play and I LOVED it.

Recently I saw a play that shocked me. A woman, who appeared to be pregnant, became not- pregnant when she gave birth on stage in the second act. I couldn’t believe it.

What’s more, not a single VICE journalist reported on it.

This woman’s vaginal canal stretched to the size of a small head, and I saw it under the mist of a theatrical smoke machine. But where was VICE?

A small medical team pumped the woman full of intravenous drugs while reciting sparse but poignant dialogue. VICE was not there.

Placenta literally flew into the crowd and I leapt to my feet screaming “THIS IS SO EDGY.”

Did VICE forget about theatre?

Around peak #traction that night VICE posted two pieces: “This Jewish Marxist Dealt Drugs with Castro” and “Does Swedish Paincore Take Penis Humiliation Too Far?” Are these articles really edgier than the miracle of life, LIVE on stage?

Dejected, I sat down to read their latest work. “99 Times a Fat Socialist Shat on My Face”. I felt slightly better but I will still be sending them an email about this. Who is their Culture Editor? I need to know.