Adeline Chai is a writer and photographer who’s recently graduated from the University of Sydney with degrees in Media and Communications and Psychological Science. When she’s not working on concert reviews or running Difficult Women Book Club Sydney, you can find her crawled up in bed with a literary fiction book, playing Reputation and Midnights on repeat.
I interviewed my Playdough Magazine editor-turned friend Adeline Chai over Zoom. We discussed, pondered and giggled, including over my very serious suggestion that Britney Spears legally change her name to “Britney Bitch”.
Valerie Chidiac: Hello Adeline and welcome to our Honi readership. Firstly, can you explain what Difficult Women Book Club is and how it runs?
Adeline Chai: Difficult Women Book Club (DWBC) was originally established in Barcelona by Linda Massi, who is from Italy and wanted to find like-minded people. The name was inspired by the essay, “The Cult of the Difficult Woman,” from Jia Tolentino’s book Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion (2019). It’s about how neoliberal feminism has evolved into choice feminism, where women are seen as right regardless of what they do and how there is a snowball effect into pop culture. The intent of the book club is to view literature written by women and minority groups individually, and not as if they are exempt from criticism.
With social media and TikTok nowadays, we have seen the proliferation of diverse literature yet scrutiny is reserved in an effort to promote this literature and prevent it from being shunned. An example I can think of is The Bell Jar by Slyvia Plath. At the time, it was a revolutionary book which started a great conversation about women and mental health issues. However, the racial insensitivity of Plath and the stereotypes present in the book are excluded from mainstream discussion. What we can take from this, and discussions in online spaces, is that we must engage with books critically.
In particular, our book club looks at difficult women, whether that be the author, characters or narrator. In real life, there are so many women who make feminist choices as well ‘unfeminist’ choices. We are not afraid to critique that and hold each other accountable. We also do not want to be a perpetrator of book culture feminism where everything a woman does, is seen as amazing.
In terms of how the global book club functions, we have a shuffle of books that are compiled into a master TBR list, including books recommended by members or random people on the internet. Three books get picked and circulated throughout the chapters worldwide to vote internally. These votes are then tallied, and one book is selected as book of the month.
Our Sydney chapter runs three meetings every month to discuss the book in a very conversational setting. People can come together to challenge each other’s ideas or reaffirm experiences that reflect womanhood in a wholesome way.
VC: Can you recount your first interaction with Difficult Women Book Club and how it inspired you to establish the Sydney branch? What steps did that involve?
AC: That’s really interesting, because I believe it was The Bell Jar that DWBC in Barcelona had read at the time, when it was just them and a couple of other chapters around the world. I randomly saw it on my For You Page, and I’ve always wanted to start a book club. It’s always been on my bucket list, but it never was the right time, right place. I talked to Linda, the founder, and she happened to be really nice and welcoming. I quickly found that what she stood for, was what I stood for. I asked something to the effect of, “do you have a chapter in Sydney, I’d love to join” and there wasn’t, but she offered the opportunity for me to start one. At the time, I wasn’t really sure, and it was right before I went on a 2-month exchange. I was in Edinburgh and Edinburgh is a very bookish city, with bookshops infiltrating the streets. I kept thinking about the book club. I made the final decision to do it when I was in Amsterdam. So I messaged Linda that I would love to do it when I get back to Sydney.
She then sent me a Canva starter pack of style for designs, and I created a poster which I stuck all over USyd. I also made Tiktoks and Instagram content. I’m very grateful for Linda giving all chapters the creative liberty over her baby. The book club is probably a movement by now, because it’s furthered by people she doesn’t know personally.
We also have a group chat for different chapters where we talk to each other. It’s really weird though because of timezones. You can get European people really active on the group chat at 3 am and everyone else is so silent.
VC: What does it mean to be a ‘difficult woman’? And who is a difficult woman? Are some women praised for their ‘difficult’ or ‘diva behaviour’, while others are vilified for exhibiting the same traits?
AC: Everyone is a difficult woman to an extent. How I define it personally, is a woman who feels that she is a feminist but the internal misogyny slips out and she makes the decisions that aren’t inherently feminist. It is a very interesting discussion to be had as there isn’t a middle ground; we either put people on a pedestal or we completely degrade them. This year and beyond, I’m trying to be more considerate of how I talk about people. With the women I admire, I want to be able to think that while ‘so-and-so is an incredible woman’, there are all these other things about her that should be talked about. Of course, without being sexist. It’s not as easy, even I sometimes catch myself, or my friends catch me saying something misogynistic. It’s something you have to unlearn and practice.
This ties back to the Britney [Spears] discussion in our January meeting where I realised that female hysteria is increasingly gawked at and to an extent, amplified by the people watching them. At the same time, too much hysteria warrants criticism or hatred from those same people. It’s very weird that some people view this so-called ‘crazy behaviour’ as exciting. With Britney, Christina [Agiluera], Paris Hilton, people loved them for their entertainment value to society. But when we talk about the sad reasonings behind their actions, it becomes too rational. It humanises these figures so much that we don’t want to talk about it anymore. We want them to remain this femme fatale fantasy.
I do also agree that some women are praised for their “diva” behaviour, especially when it fits this archetype of ‘hard to get’. We rarely consider what or who made her this way. People shy away from having this conversation and focus on vilifying women for ‘overreacting’.
VC: How did the first book club set the stage for future meetings? Any dos and don’ts that you figured out along the way?
AC: I was talking to my mum about this the other day after we discussed Britney’s memoir. The logistics have really changed as I did not know how to host an event and would suggest we go to a public park and set up a picnic. It is not a good idea when you don’t know the park that well. There was construction on the Harbour Bridge and someone drilling the whole time we were talking. I remember thinking, “no one sitting here is ever going to come back.” But people were so understanding and compassionate, and felt safe. People still came back, and showed me their pure intention of joining the book club.
My biggest ‘don’t’ is not to compare numbers of other book clubs. I fixated too much on this at the start, but now I know that even if only five people came to every meeting, it’s fine. The internet brought me this community but on the flip side, it’s made numbers matter way too much. Social media doesn’t always translate to real people who attend. It’s a very Gen-Z thing to care about numbers and be chronically online, but the ultimate goal of the book club is to welcome everyone into a safe space and find connection.
One thing I do miss in the meetings is that when we have 15-20 people coming in for each session, I often don’t talk to the same people or catch up.
My ‘dos’s’; be explicit and clear about making the book club a safe space. It’s important for me, as a person of colour, having not felt welcome or protected in spaces before. With any sensitive discussions about race, sexuality or gender, I preface it with saying that bigotry or unintentional bigotry is not allowed, even when expressing your opinion. I think it’s always my responsibility to provide a safe space and feel engulfed by gratitude when regular members who step in when I cannot. There is always constructive feedback going on.
VC: When selecting book of the month, do you favour current releases or also consider already published books, such as classics? If so, what are some books or anticipated releases you would like to see pop up in the future?
AC: We do consider already published books, classics as well. Anyone can recommend books and it would go into our huge TBR section. Three books are selected according to the theme — this month is Black History Month. I would love to see more books that mention intersectionality or books written by people from diverse backgrounds, people of colour, LGBTQIA+ communities. For example, when we bring up classics, it’s really just Jane Austen. There are so many classics by Toni Morrison, who people don’t often talk about because she’s not always in that traditional category of what people consider a classic. However, the book club has made it a conscious effort, especially in 2024, to globally read more diverse books.
VC: The book of the month for January was Britney Spears’ memoir, “The Woman in Me’’. Can you describe your overall reading experience and identify memorable moments that fit the phrase “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue”? Feel free to interpret the prompt in any way.
AC: I don’t tend to rate memoirs or autobiographies because they feel very personal and I find it inappropriate. Britney’s book did, however, not read as smoothly and I wish she went more deeper into so many things. There’s a lot of factors with the unimaginable trauma she lived through. Even though I can’t really speak for her, she hasn’t really recovered from it and everything is just so recent. As a reader, I’d love to know more about those things, and it probably wasn’t the right place, right time for her to talk about it all.
Something old: I didn’t particularly grow up with Britney, and never felt attached to her. From our meetings, it was clear that the Millennial generation had closer ties to her. I feel like for those who knew about her from the time of Free Britney, it was such an unfair glimpse into her life, as a person.
Something new: Might not be new, but her memoir read as a raw journal entry. It felt like she was reading to us and as a result, was very sweet.
Something borrowed: Reading the book, I was excited to find out things I didn’t even know about her. Her experience of music-making really resonated with me because I love music and live performance. I remember a paragraph really vividly, where she says that as a singer onstage she feels like she’s exchanging an electrical current with her audience. She came to life even more when she talked about music and I believe that was probably the happiest relationship in her life. I really love the level of depth brought to her music-making process, and the explanations of what albums she liked or performances she disliked.
Something blue: Not just the conservatorship, but in the writing, I noticed her people pleasing tendencies come out. She would say something profound, and then doubt herself in the next sentence with something like, “I know it sounds crazy”. These quips and phrases made me think, “don’t justify yourself, you’re doing a good job”. It’s quite sad because I catch myself doing that in real life, and women in general, do that a lot. Sometimes you know what you’re saying but you still have to frame it with, “if that makes sense.”
VC: When discussing the memoir in the corner of Lazy Thinking, some attendees mentioned a sense of guilt for revisiting photos and videos of Britney’s vulnerable and very public experiences as they were reading from her perspective.
Do you think artists can strike a balance between recounting and reliving their trauma while also profiting off it? And to clarify, Britney’s experience is singular because of the conservatorship. I believe she of all people deserves to earn and keep her own money — but I would love to hear your take on this.
AC: I agree with you but with artists it’s very tricky. Obviously, they do it for financial gain, and it’s ultimately their job. I don’t know if I really have an answer to this. It’s like when you’re writing an article and it has a bit of yourself in there. Overtime, the public can view it while you get over it. Yet, it becomes too public, and you can continually get subjected to external responses. That’s why I try not to be very critical of personal art. Where there’s a devastating story attached to it, I can say “that wasn’t for me, but it is for others”.
For example, people like Taylor Swift or Gracie Abrams write songs to process their experiences, and it’s very much personal as it is public. It’s like “this is for me, and when I write down this painful experience, I feel better”. On the other hand, it’s this very public experience where it’s broadcast to people around the world. I imagine part of it is to painfully relive it and then feel better. When Taylor Swift wrote All Too Well, it became a very popular song but it was a very emotional song for her to perform. Taylor now is able to talk about reclaiming the narrative, upon seeing that her fans have reclaimed the song for themselves.
With Britney, I hope it was the same, and that she wrote the book to reclaim the narrative after 13 years of control, of being rendered powerless and her family scrambling for their narrative in the media. I hope more than the financial gain, and the positive reviews, that it contributes to her process of reclaiming her trauma.
VC: I have noticed you have been increasing your social media presence and have planned non-book events (i.e., the upcoming Galentines x Friendship Bracelet Picnic). How do you intend on growing the book club in 2024?
AC: The biggest thing is finding larger venues, and that has been a constant struggle. But regardless of how much the book club grows in numbers, I want people to come in regularly and form a deeper connection with each other. The new non-book events might help with that. I started the book club to facilitate a community, and with any city like Sydney, it can be very isolating for people. And an overarching question for everyone has been, how do you join new places and groups after the pandemic? We are also looking at doing fundraisers and involving locals, especially non-profit organisations that we really believe in.
VC: What would you say to readers who are hesitant to put themselves out there and join book communities? And when I say ‘book communities’, I am only referring to Difficult Women Book Club, because it is the best and only book club ever to grace our shores.
AC: I’m very chill… as long as you’re nice, come to our meetings. People tend to get worried about being the new person or not being an avid reader, but the book club is not just about being a reader. We talk about other things like art and pop culture. You could only read the book of the month, and come in. Don’t worry, we’re not sitting there looking for metaphors, even though that can be great at times.
Honestly, our constant theme for the past six months has just been a safe roundtable for people to share their experiences that they might not have been able to have with a family member, a partner or a friend. You can see the look of relief when you see attendees express things to do with being a woman, or how they relate to an experience in a book and they then get affirming responses from others. This is why this book club exists.
Gimme More:
- Have you ever attended a book club meeting without having read or finished the book?
Yes — it happened with the December pick, The Yellow Wallpaper, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.
- If you could visit one Difficult Women Book Club branch, which would it be?
Our sister chapter, Melbourne, and Edinburgh.
- “It’s Britney Bitch” or “The Princess of Pop”?
Definitely, “It’s Britney Bitch”.
- Would you rather always go out without a book in your tote bag OR never listen to an audiobook again?
Never listen to an audiobook again.
- Would you rather only be able to annotate in pen OR dogear pages in books you own?
Annotate in pen.
- This will ignite fandom wars but would you rather only read Honi Soit, OR only read PULP?
I’m biased because my first article was for PULP. But I like Honi too.
Difficult Women Book Club’s February pick is Alice Walker’s The Colour Purple (1982). For more information on meeting details, visit @difficultwomenbookclub_sydney on Instagram.
The March shortlist consists of Roxane Gay’s Difficult Women (2017), Etaf Rum’s A Woman Is No Man (2019) and Laura Bates’ Men Who Hate Women (2020). Honi Soit can exclusively report that leading the votes by a considerable margin is the novel, A Woman Is No Man. At the time of publication, DWBC revealed it was, indeed, the March book of the month.
