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Disney announces first openly transphobic character

Members of the transphobic community everywhere are celebrating today’s announcement that Disney will be writing a transphobic character into their next summer family blockbuster. The central princess, Esmerelda, will be the protagonist in a film of the same name, to be released in summer of 2016. “For so long, it’s been a matter of close…

Members of the transphobic community everywhere are celebrating today’s announcement that Disney will be writing a transphobic character into their next summer family blockbuster.

The central princess, Esmerelda, will be the protagonist in a film of the same name, to be released in summer of 2016.

“For so long, it’s been a matter of close reading and critical analysis. A lot of people tried to interpret the identity of our characters because we just couldn’t say it out loud. It’s just so beautiful to know that the conversation can be had openly, now,” announced Disney CEO Bob Iger at a press conference this morning.

The plot is said to centre around Esmerelda’s struggle to win her parents’ respect through a long journey. The narrative features three charming companions, an adventure through a scary forest, and an awful slurring contest.

“It’s almost happened for so long, but it’s clear that there is now tremendous support for people who harbour a bigoted, disgusting, intolerance of those who don’t fall within their stringent definition of the most draconian notion of a gender binary,” Iger proudly declared to the press.

The character, celebrated as an historic milestone for the transphobic community, is to be voiced by second wave feminist and repulsive transphobe, Germaine Greer.

“Proper representation is important—this isn’t a role you could give to anyone other than a horrible transphobe.”

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