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Cupid of Sydney

Described as “the most exciting thing I’m reading on Facebook”, Indigenous Honi brings you a blog by Patrick Madden documenting the intricacies of how best to engineer romance.

2/3/15 Two guys in my yoga class always awkwardly chat to each other before and after class. Last week, they walked to the changeroom together and were getting some really good banter going before arriving at their respective lockers, where they both fell completely silent and didn’t even say goodbye to each other. This week, I was determined to get them to go on a date. So when both of them were in the shower, I slipped a note into their lockers saying, “Free for dinner after this?”

Both came out around the same time, read the note, smiled at each other and left the change room together, this time talking about their days at work.

And at their wedding, they will tell the story of how they thought the other had written each other a note when indeed an unknown stranger had.

9/3/15 They greeted each other with a kiss on the cheek. Might be an early call, but I helped two soulmates find each other.

16/3/15 They are slowly climbing the spiritual path to realising they have found their soulmate. It appears that one went to the other’s work drinks on Friday and was a hit with his friends.

23/3/15 Spotted having a smoothie together before class this evening.

31/3/15 Missed my yoga class yesterday and will miss next week because of Easter. What could happen with Yoga Couple within the next fortnight? The discovery of irreconcilable differences? Moving in? Marriage?

14/4/15 It appears that their routine is to meet at Newtown station, go to a nearby health food place for a fruit smoothie, then to yoga together. Proposal before Christmas? Here’s hoping.   

24/4/15 Due to wet weather on Monday, not many people attended yoga class. On the Facebook group for the class, a guy posted “Since not many people were there on Monday, feel free to have a few drinks at my house.”

It was ONE OF THE YOGA COUPLE GUYS!!!! I liked the status, which I guess indicated I was going to turn up to his house. I’ve just checked the group again and the post has been deleted. I assume he was just posting to his friends and didn’t expect randoms to like it?? SO CLOSE TO PENETRATING THE INNER LAYER OF THE COUPLE I CREATED.

27/4/15 Success! They kissed each other goodbye! It’s officialthey’re a couple! Sydney’s premium dating service (me) strikes again. A Yoga Couple guy (‘YCG’) smiled at me when we crossed paths in the change room. My theory is that he clicked on my profile after I liked his post and he now recognises me as the creep who liked the post featuring his address (and the reason he deleted the post.) Is this the beginning of a new friendship? Or are they onto me?

04/05/15 I walked up the stairs to the change room behind them after they finished a workout next to each other on the rowing machines (cute). One of them dropped his water bottle and I caught it from behind.

YCG 1: “Oh, thanks for that.”

Me: “No worries.”

YCG 2: “You’re in our class normally, aren’t you?”

Me: “Yeah, I am.”

WE ARE ON SPEAKING TERMS.  And yes, I strategically timed my journey up the stairs to follow them.

12/05/15 I positioned myself between both of their lockers and listened in on their conversation as we got changed. YCG 1 put on a shirt, which prompted YCG 2 to say, “Is that new? It looks really good on you.” I smirked at the love radiating between them: they saw me. “We met in this changeroom, you know,”  YCG 2 said to me.

“Oh, really?” I replied. On the inside, I was screaming. “I MADE YOU. I CREATED THIS MOMENT. I AM YOUR GOD.” Officially on speaking terms. The infiltration begins….

Patrick Madden is available for romantic setup consultation and can be contacted via his blog. His current goal is to secure a selfie with Yoga Couple. Fans of the blog are suggesting that Patrick should serve as flower boy at the official Yoga Couple wedding.

To follow Yoga Couple Updates, see http://cupidofsydney.weebly.com/

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