Misc //

Bringing Down The House

Ellie Rogers and Oliver Moore offer some home decorating tips that match your budget.

The student housing crisis has long been acknowledged, with too little available, what is available being unaffordable, and most being farmed out to third party services rather than managed by the university itself. Roughly 90% of students live in private accommodation (that is, not living at home or in a university-maintained property), and coming up with the $375 a week to rent a UniLodge studio whilst juggling full time uni, part time jobs, and extracurriculars (mostly CV-stuffing and partying on weeknights), is by no means a simple task . It’s no surprise that students are looking for a new, cost-effective option to furnishing apartments. So, we went through the uni and tested what was and wasn’t bolted to the ground, and beautifully furnished a UniLodge studio.

The bookcase on the ground floor of Woolley

This bookcase is the definition of class in antiquity. Its rich wood and swinging glass display doors are only part of the story—it comes accompanied with all sorts of classic titles. From a quick glance it seems to be mostly things you’ve pretended to have read in order to impress a lacklustre date, so this should give you perfect deniability if you manage to make it back to your place. If you don’t want to go to the effort of carrying all the books from Woolley to yours, you can always just pick some really obscure titles from Fisher and renew them forever.

This dubious cupboard from the Quad, and whatever mysteries it holds

Has anyone ever opened it? Is this where they keep the bodies of students who fail PHIL1011? Is it a portal to another dimension? Filled with rejected simple extension requests? Take it today to find out!

A giant hashtag “”””sculpture”””””

Every apartment needs a piece of modern art so your one night stands thinks you’re sophisticated, and this one has the added benefit of letting them know you got in to USyd. It can also be used as a coat rack or hat stand in times of need.

The bean bags in Carslaw 24 Hour

You’re better than this.

Finally, for the artier types out there, the biannual campaign season should give you ample material to:

Make a papier-mâche lover out of leftover HTVs

The only way to complete your home- away-from-home experience is with a lover who won’t ever leave you. This papier-mâche friend with benefits has all the advantages of a sex life without ever having to engage meaningfully with another human being. And, anyway, you’ve already been fucked by stupol once…