Close Menu
Honi Soit
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Trending
    • UTS elects new Chancellor
    • Out of the Deep: The Story of a Shark Kid Who Dared to Question Fear
    • Prima Facie: Losing faith in a system you truly believed in
    • Jason Clare seeks replacement for ANU Chancellor Julie Bishop after $790,000 expense report
    • ‘If you silence someone or shush someone, you can get out’: SISTREN is an unabashed celebration of black and trans joy. Is Australia ready?
    • Mark Gowing waxes lyrical on aesthetics, time, language, and his new exhibition ‘This one is a song’
    • NTEU wins wage theft case against Monash University
    • Turning Kindness Into Strength in ‘A Different Kind of Power’
    • About
    • Print Edition
    • Student Journalism Conference 2025
    • Writing Comp
    • Advertise
    • Locations
    • Contact
    Facebook Instagram X (Twitter) TikTok
    Honi SoitHoni Soit
    Thursday, July 10
    • News
    • Analysis
    • Culture
    • Opinion
    • University
    • Features
    • Perspective
    • Investigation
    • Reviews
    • Comedy
    • Student Journalism Conference 2025
    Honi Soit
    Home»Perspective

    Carpe Diem: seiz(ur)e the day

    By Riki ScanlanMarch 9, 2016 Perspective 3 Mins Read
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    The last thing I remember is the number six. Seconds later, my body convulses for two minutes in the disguise of a seizure. My blood pressure is so low that if I stand, I will faint again; my heart rate is at 35bpm. I have no idea where I am.

    What happened is now obscured in a haze, as if struggling to remember a nightmare. I was participating in a clinical trial for a new drug (details withheld to preserve the anonymity of the researchers). To be clear: the emergency ward doctors and the neuropsychologist all saw no correlation between the trial drug and my episode, which turned out to be a “vasovagal syncope”.

    In layman’s terms, my heart rate and blood pressure dropped suddenly because of a combination of underlying stress and a centimetre-deep abdominal injection, which caused me to faint. This is not the first time this has happened: when I was eight, I was straining on the toilet, fainted and, when I came to, threw up in the toilet.

    Vasovagal syncopes are relatively common, and are a known cause of fainting in people prone to needle-phobia. The complex relationship between psychology and physiology means they manifest differently from person to person. For the most part, they are benign.

    Not knowing that is terrifying. I am wrapped in blankets, rapidly breathing, with my voice threatening a low moan every second I am alone. I can barely crunch down on a Tim Tam. I shiver. Organised conscious thought? Impossible – only a jittery feeling rocketing towards the thought how long do I have to live? Am I okay with falling into incomprehensible eternal darkness?

    The ambulance is called. I collect myself a little, enough to joke with the nurses staffing the Royal Prince Alfred emergency ward. I smile at the older and frailer patients. The paramedics slot me next to a woman who is in and out of hospital for threatened heart attacks. My left arm is hooked up with a large-gauge needle, which itches incessantly.

    They say hospital is boring. It took six hours to receive a blood test and CT scan. But hospital does not only bore you, it makes you ignorant. No matter how good the bedside manner of the doctors and nurses, it remains deeply alienating. Medical professionals whisk in, insert stuff, test stuff, say stuff, and leave. You never know when the next one will arrive until they do. Three radiology assistants appear, wheel me to the CT scanner, and irradiate my brain. I squeeze my eyes shut and confusedly think I can see the X-rays.

    I am reminded of what Horkheimer and Adorno say about hospitals. They provide such great benefit yet contain such great horror. The hospital, more and more in the form of big business, presses life itself to its service. The funding is low, the staff overworked, the patients bored, ignorant, and frustrated. Efficiency, the politician alleges on talkback radio, is maximised.

    alienating carpe diem hospital research trial Riki Scanlan seizure vasovagal syncope

    Keep Reading

    Authenticating My Authenticity to Inauthentic Authenticators

    The Music of Memory

    Turn Away Your Mirrors and Close the Doors

    What Was Your Name?

    Do you dream with your phone?

    Red-Haired Phantasies: The So-Called Manic Pixie Dream Girl

    Just In

    UTS elects new Chancellor

    July 8, 2025

    Out of the Deep: The Story of a Shark Kid Who Dared to Question Fear

    July 8, 2025

    Prima Facie: Losing faith in a system you truly believed in

    July 8, 2025

    Jason Clare seeks replacement for ANU Chancellor Julie Bishop after $790,000 expense report

    July 7, 2025
    Editor's Picks

    Part One: The Tale of the Corporate University

    May 28, 2025

    “Thank you Conspiracy!” says Capitalism, as it survives another day

    May 21, 2025

    A meditation on God and the impossible pursuit of answers

    May 14, 2025

    We Will Be Remembered As More Than Administrative Errors

    May 7, 2025
    Facebook Instagram X (Twitter) TikTok

    From the mines

    • News
    • Analysis
    • Higher Education
    • Culture
    • Features
    • Investigation
    • Comedy
    • Editorials
    • Letters
    • Misc

     

    • Opinion
    • Perspective
    • Profiles
    • Reviews
    • Science
    • Social
    • Sport
    • SRC Reports
    • Tech

    Admin

    • About
    • Editors
    • Send an Anonymous Tip
    • Write/Produce/Create For Us
    • Print Edition
    • Locations
    • Archive
    • Advertise in Honi Soit
    • Contact Us

    We acknowledge the traditional custodians of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. The University of Sydney – where we write, publish and distribute Honi Soit – is on the sovereign land of these people. As students and journalists, we recognise our complicity in the ongoing colonisation of Indigenous land. In recognition of our privilege, we vow to not only include, but to prioritise and centre the experiences of Indigenous people, and to be reflective when we fail to be a counterpoint to the racism that plagues the mainstream media.

    © 2025 Honi Soit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms
    • Accessibility

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.