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Births, Deaths and Marriages – Semester Two, Week Ten

u wll nvr gss wht hppnd t lw bll

The Births, Deaths and Marriages Child The tears of the baby are the tears of the world.

Slytherin to the SULS election

Honi has already reported that two tickets are primed to battle it out to run the Sydney University Law Society (SULS) in 2017.

However, a third ticket has now joined the fray. Rumours initially suggested the ticket was an act of protest against perceived nepotism and sycophancy in the process of compiling tickets. It turns out the ticket will be contesting the election as a serious contender.

They’re called “Slytherin to SULS”.

The ticket is headed by first year undergraduate Alexander Edye (President), Emma Frederikson (VP Education), Olivia Morris (VP Careers) and Bill Chan (VP Social Justice). They are joined by Jared Wilik (Secretary), Ronnie Taneja (Treasurer), Esha Kumar (Sponsorship), Matt Thrush and Ruben Robertson (Social), James Lin and Natalie Lao (Competitions), Millie Groenveld (Women’s Officer), Yashraj Shukla (Sports) and Jessica Bi (Campus).

We expect that they will be channelling any perceived lack of experience into a message that the SULS executive should be accessible for those that haven’t engaged with SULS before. They are extremely well represented among the first year cohort but may struggle to engage older sections of the law school.

In other news, the tickets all have names now. Kieran Hoyle’s ticket is running on “GAME for SULS” (using light green), Rohan Barmanray’s ticket is “SPARK for SULS” (yellow). Slytherin will be running on dark green.

The president’s lemons

Ever the enviro-conscious pseudo-corporation, the USU maintains a small citrus grove on that balcony of the Holme Building overlooking Science Road. It’s a ~holmely~ affair – half a dozen or so lemon and orange trees, their growth stunted by pots too small for them.

Their blossoms emanate a not unpleasant fragrance at this time of year.

The grove bears fruit annually. Passing it on the way to a recent Board meeting, Honi observed this year’s fruit was afflicted – blemished, shrivelled and discoloured. By what or whom, we weren’t immediately sure, but the ~budding~ young journalists we are, we set about finding out.

A diseased lemon was plucked and taken to Bunnings Rockdale for inspection. Judy from Gardening’s reaction, “Whoa, I have no idea”, didn’t instil great hope for the orchard’s salvation. She referred us to Dave in aisle 24, the champion of “insecticides and fungicides”.

Dave doesn’t work Thursdays, but his proxy, Leanne, began her line of inquiry with “Do you have a possum problem?” Ominous. We responded that we weren’t aware of one, but it couldn’t be ruled out.

An impromptu roundtable of Bunnings employees was then convened. Truth be told, Sophie had little to offer. Anthony, an off-duty staff member from Bunnings Alexandria, professed to have the answer: his was a diagnosis of aphids (explaining the small black dots), with the larger gouges caused by a “bigger critter”. His fix? Pest oil and a bird netting.

Honi intends to pass the advice on to USU President Michael Rees, who, it’s been said, can be found tending to the grove every day, at first light. Rees “categorically” denies this. “Those plants water themselves.”

Dear Honi election candidates

Please hush now on the Facebooks, all of you.