“When I do not compromise
I am selfish and time-hoarding.
When they do not compromise
they are ‘reasonable’ and ‘common-sense’.
When I do not compromise
I am trapped in a prison of inability.
When they do not compromise
it is ‘just a preference’ and ‘for convenience’.
When I do not compromise
I am stuck between flight or fight, unable to self-care.
When they do not compromise
it is ‘justified’ and ‘self-righteous’.
There is only one universal clock
and it does not pause for me.
With no rest, no intermediation, and no consideration
is it such a surprise that the hurt is bone-deep?
With no fresh air to breathe, no reprieve, and no pride
is it such a surprise that my legacy is a graveyard of unfinished aspirations?
Is it a choice when your options are to leave or to panic?
Is it a choice when your options are either burnout or inertia?
The learning curve is so steep that I train day-in and day-out to climb it
But over time, the lactic acid builds up and the ache gets to me.
The holds are slippery.
They say I should develop a stronger grip.
What can you do when the provided solutions require preconditions?
Can you afford to take time off to learn to climb?
I slip to stumble, then to free fall.
It is a long way down to rock bottom.
To pick yourself back up becomes less of a question of personal resilience
and more of a statement about the nets and leverage available to you.
What is your pain tolerance
When it comes to personal failure?
Is it a question of learning
or of blunting the afferent impulses?
Is it personal growth
to distance yourself from your body?
What is the cost of being self-reliant?
Will you last until retirement?
Are you lucky enough to have a safety net to catch you?”
