Commonwealth Bank to Offer No-Fee, Some Money on the End of a Fishing Line Smart Access Account

The Commonwealth Bank has released a new Some Money on the End of Some Fishing Line Smart Access Account which CEO Ian Narev has described as “an exciting turn for struggling, first-time home owners, and account holders with bad credit history.”

“What happens is we tie a comically large wad of money on a difficult to see string. Something transparent, usually fishing line… You want a good length of it lest they get too near,” Narev said in a release this morning.

“We dangle it in front of the unsuspecting customer, then when they go for it, the boys and I give the line an almighty tug and it comically scuttles just out of their reach!

It is a lot of fun. My favourite jape, for definitely.”

Narev has described the program as “a trial product”, ahead of the scheduled release of a Pennies-Glued-to-the-Floor savings scheme to debut in late October this year.

“We will spit on them when they try and pick it up.”