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Garter Press Gives Up Timeliness for Lent

Journalists and editors alike at The Garter Press have today revealed that, in a show of contempt for the vicious, 24-hour news cycle, they would be giving up timeliness for lent. “The content you read today has been created with absolutely not attention paid to the enduring relevance of the pieces, and without the slightest…

Journalists and editors alike at The Garter Press have today revealed that, in a show of contempt for the vicious, 24-hour news cycle, they would be giving up timeliness for lent.

“The content you read today has been created with absolutely not attention paid to the enduring relevance of the pieces, and without the slightest regard for what an attentive and engaged audience requires of a purveyor of news media,” Gary Mandibles, Senior Editor, declared at a press conference some time whenever.

“Some people might be surprised to find that we’re running a section about a period of time that ended a fortnight ago. That’s part of what we’re willing to give up for forty days.”

The move has attracted criticism from some members of the public who believe there is an obligation for new publishers to keep their finger on the pulse of the social and political landscape.

“I know a lot of people are probably left wondering, why? And I don’t have an answer right now. Maybe I will in a week?

Who can say?”

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