Man Dead After Officer Mixes Up Baton and Enchanted Sword Excalibur

Another community mourns an arrest turned fatal, after an Oklahoma police deputy mistook a police baton for the legendary sword Excalibur.

Officer Gareth Samuels, a community deputy to the Tulsa police force, fatally injured Jason Ross while assisting an officer called to a traffic stop. Police confirmed Samuels struck Ross from behind as he grappled with another officer. Reports the deceased was cleft in twain have not been substantiated; both the police and the deceased’s family await the coroner’s findings.

Questions have been raised about the involvement of a community deputy in the arrest. Mr Samuels is an unpaid volunteer, but he did spend three years as a member of the Tulsa police department prior to his wandering as a knight errant, which included a secondment to the Round Table of Camelot, assisting with the case of the Green Knight, and the anti-Saxon task force.

Samuels has been taken off-duty but community leaders are calling for an investigation into the culture of the Tulsa PD, right up to its motto ‘To Quest and Vanquish’.

The baton was an approved police-grade vulcanised rubber restraint device, for which he had received police training. The legendary sword Excalibur was forged by elves in dragon fire and gifted to him by a naiad. They are both longer than they are wide, which is believed to have contributed to the officer’s confusion.