For sale: unstapled Honi, never read

Dear Honi,

I’m writing to drum up interest in eBay listing #281758345027, a rare unstapled edition of Honi Soit Week 13 2015. Due to an inexplicable metal-related problem, this edition was released UNSTAPLED. The editors were quick to retract and staple all copies on stands, thus securing the rarity of this piece. Featuring ‘Vivid is SHIT!!!’ (unstapled), ‘Where are the graffiti vaginas?’ (unstapled), and a completed (unstapled) Sudoku, the centerfold of this paper is totally free from any holes, proving I did not remove staples in order to attribute false value to this unique piece.

When Adam Smith attempted to define ‘Value’ in his 1776 opus The Wealth of Nations, he struggled with drawing a line between objects with, and without staples. But this eBay listing elucidates all, showing that items without staples are worth at least $2 (opening bid, inc. free shipping), whereas an Honi with staples is absolutely free (read: “worthless”).

While the articles on the SRC budget, Sam Gooding’s time at college, and Sydney’s growing youth homelessness are all available online, only here are they available on Honi’s iconic newsprint, and totally free of staples. With only four days left, you would be mad not to meticulously type this URL into your iPhone’s safari:

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Honi-Soit-Rare-No-Staples-Edition-/281758345027

Regards,

cool_ryan_321

JD I.