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10 Fucking Morons and Their Stupid Dumb Opinions on: Jon Stewart’s Farewell

This week, Jon Stewart said farewell to a program that he has anchored, and that we have loved, for nearly sixteen years. We asked ten mouthbreathers what they thought even though we are journalists and it is our job to have good thoughts. Write us at editors@garterpress.com, or just shout into the abyss and we will know.

“This is an excellent chance to reset The Daily Show’s continuity, which has become bogged down by twenty years of complicated story arcs.”
Mary Ward, teacher, Infinity

“Who  will be the white champion for people of colour in America, now?”
Emma Balfour, robot, 47

“We’re still going to have days though, right?”
Declan Maher, Sin, 666

“I will not watch The Weekly. You can’t make me do it. I will cut out my eyes.”
Peter Walsh, bad boy, 18

“Now I’ll have to listen to my wife monologue. She is a lecturer.”
Aidan Molins, tyrant, 37

“It’s so sad that they have to put him down.”
Patrick Morrow, child, 6

“Did The Daily Show take place in the same fictional universe as The O’Reilly Factor?”
Ian Ferrington, idiot, 34

“I thought it was called the Jon Stewart Show.”
Carly Ziller, grandmother, 76

“I thought it was called the John Stewart Show.”
Carly Ziller, grandmother, 76

“Golly!”
Michael Richardson, dandy, 42