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African Americans Now Just Inventing Decoy Cultural Movements for White People to Appropriate

On Wednesday, the Chicago branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) announced a new program aimed at protecting the integrity and autonomy of black cultural movements. “White people have a demonstrable tendency toward appropriating our musical genres, art movements, and clothing styles. This is something that happens regardless of their…

On Wednesday, the Chicago branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) announced a new program aimed at protecting the integrity and autonomy of black cultural movements.

“White people have a demonstrable tendency toward appropriating our musical genres, art movements, and clothing styles. This is something that happens regardless of their cultural significance, or how ridiculous it makes them look,” stated Terence French, the spokesperson for the Illinois based chapter, in a press release.

“In the past we have tried to communicate our concerns to white people, but for some reason we’re never really listened to.”

The association hopes that a new decoy program may provide some solutions. The strategy sees African American artists collaborating to create fake cultural movements, distracting white people from things like hip hop and the blues.

At Wednesday’s press conference, French revealed ‘scrat’, the Association’s first decoy culture.

“We’ve given it a history, its own fictionalized pioneers and heroes, several clothing brands, a musical style, and most importantly, a dance.”

French mentioned although the campaign is already in its early stages, they are already seeing successes.

“We’ve heard reports of several boutique fashion brands releasing ‘scrat-influenced’ clothing lines, while Diplo has announced an imminent series of scrat remixes on his soundcloud page, in anticipation of his nationwide ‘scrat king’ tour. We also have information that suggests Taylor Swift will be ‘scratting’ at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards.”

“Online writers have also taken the bait. Salon.com has churned out four thinkpieces documenting the significance of the movement’s culture and history, while Fox has already declared it a corruptor of the nation’s youth.”

The assocation has reports that a piece of so-called scrat music will feature in an advertisement for Burger King’s new “Florida Feed” in a bid for the key youth demographic next week.

“We estimate that within 12 to 24 months scrat will be playing in Walmarts and scrat artists will appear among collaborators on a new “Kidz Bop” album,” French said.

The NAACP says the extraordinary measure is necessary to preserve the autonomy of many meaningful cultural movements emerging around the US.

“We’re glad to be seeing results now, but for so much culture it’s too late. Who knows, if we had tried this 70 years ago, perhaps we would still have jazz.”