Holidayer Still at Kuta Beach Even Though Airports Have Reopened

Local sources are reporting that Australian holidayer Dirk Kensington is still at Kuta beach for some reason, even though airports have reopened and the ash that previously prohibited flying has subsided.

Despite The Garter’s assurances that it was definitely 100% safe to get on a plane and leave Kuta, Kensington was unperturbed.

“Nah mate, I’m down for another week of sweet Bali goodness.”

The reaction has puzzled volcanologists internationally. A paper co-authored by ten experts in the field has authoritatively declared the airspace no longer hazardous.

“I don’t understand,” says Professor Amelia Shelton from the Global Geology Conference. “It’s unequivocal. Anyone can leave. Whenever. You just have to get a plane. I will help him?”

Professor Shelton says that, given its recent activity, Mount Raung was unlikely to threaten flights in the short-term future.

“Kuta is disgusting.”