Comedy //

New Justin Bieber Album ‘Proof Of The Multiverse’: Experts

Jess Zlotnick thinks it is too late for science to say sorry.

Scientists have explained what at first appeared to be a new musical direction for popstar Justin Bieber.

Credit wrongly attributed to a maturation of style for Bieber is in fact the work of a replacement Justin Bieber from a parallel universe whose musical taste and style is more universally appealing.

Scientists are calling it “proof of the multiverse” as well as “kind of cool I guess. I didn’t like his old stuff but the new album is music I can dance to”.

Bizarro Justin has stated that his musical taste is more along the lines of tropical house and EDM, rather than This Earth’s Justin’s poppy trash filth.

The whereabouts of This Earth’s Justin are unknown, with police claiming they are “doing their best” to find him. Police did not say whether they actually want to find This Earth’s Justin.

Further proof of Bizarro Earth has come in the arrival of Bizarro Zayn of One Direction, who on Bizarro Earth never left Bizarro One Direction.

Bizarro Zayn’s arrival on This Earth restores One Direction to their original five and has experts asking: if he’s here does that make this Bizarro Earth and Bizarro Earth This Earth?

And if this is now Bizarro Earth does that make me Bizarro Jess or This Jess? Who is This Jess? Am I This Jess? If not where is she? What is she doing? Is she writing a story about the disappearance of Bizarro Justin and Bizarro Zayn?

More as the story develops.