Comedy //

Cro-Magnon Cave Paintings To Be Removed From World Heritage List

Jamie Lowe could draw a better ox tbh

In a recent bid to reduce the number of world heritage sites, UNESCO has controversially removed the ancient paintings of the French Cro-Magnon cave system from the list of protected areas.

From a recent UNESCO press release: “I could paint a better antelope than that. Just look at it, the head is all weird and tiny. And what the hell is this meant to be? A square cow? Why are the legs so skinny? There were no square-bodied cows with ridiculously skinny legs in prehistoric France.”

UNESCO has now set its sights on the Great Barrier Reef, which the organisation says is “basically just a bunch of coloured rocks” and Victoria Falls, described as “a pointless waste of water”.

The current Director-General responded to criticism by saying that not only is the World Heritage List too expansive and out of touch, but also “really fucking boring” and in need of update. “Maybe we can add something cool, like that club in Copenhagen that does gaseous vodka shots.”

The artists responsible for the paintings could not be reached for comment.