Comedy //

Disruptively innovative: company appoints unpaid intern as new CEO

Wildfire Marketing's agile new internship program offers unconventional opportunities

Citing an excess of unpaid internship opportunities on the market, a spokesperson from Wildfire Marketing has announced perhaps the most disruptive innovation of all time — appointing an unpaid intern as company director.

“I was deeply inspired by the company’s vision,” said newly appointed CEO Elijah Wyatt, who graduated from university in 2013 and has three years of relevant experience as an intern.

“During my time here, I’ve met many important people who dedicate themselves selflessly to a mission greater than profits,” he said.

It is unclear whether he was referring to other unpaid interns, whose work could not legally be counted as part of company operations, or the mentoring directors.

In a press conference, the company unveiled its new Empowerful program for up-and-coming professionals to “enrich themselves through hard work” from employees, and earn “once-in-a-lifetime” experience and skills transferable to a variety of entry-level jobs, such as those the company offers successful candidates upon completion of their internship.

“We’re looking for the right culture fit to lead our team into a new era. Idealistic people who value our objectives instead of treating this as just a job,” the company’s marketing director told assembled press.

“Our program functions as a stepping stone for aspiring start-up CEOs.”

Sources confirm Wyatt is also learning the key skill of training his replacement in three months’ time.

“I’ve learned that, as a decision maker, all entrepreneurs need to make sacrifices,” he said in response to a question on his exact responsibilities.

In the past six months, Wildfire Marketing has replaced multiple members of its design department with more interns. Explaining the decision, Wyatt said, “It’s a move on our part towards an environment of perpetual learning.”

He reiterated that the lack of salary, insurance or stipend did not stop him from “striving through difficult times” while his parents continued to pay his rent and living expenses.

When asked about the legal status of such a program, Wildfire Marketing confirmed that Wyatt’s work as CEO could not be classified as “productive”, hence no employment relationship exists.

Filed under: