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A poem about discovering home

abstract representations of home Art by Ranuka Tandan & Amelia Mertha

 

I packed home in 10 kg suitcase
Shoved amongst make sure you pray 5 times
And make sure you call everyday

Home bursts at the seams
Held together by fibres and fear
of losing the known

I search for home amongst red soil
empty cul de sacs
I search for home in the skies
amongst the expanse of the milky way
in burnt sunsets

I find home in the laughs of big bellied men
In the steely resolve of short women
I find home in a bottle of chilli sauce
Eggs and rice

I find home in the struggle
In cracked backs, raw fingers, burnt skin
In steel caps and thongs
Of men missing shorelines
In pursuit of picket fences and respect

I make home in firsts
using a clothes dryer
in savouring solitude
the rebellion of my existence
staring men in the eye
I find comfort in their discomfort
I find it in surprised faces
hushed whispers
in looks
And sometimes I lose it there too

I lose home in between the quiet
I lose home in missed prayers and forgotten phone calls
amongst the unfamiliar
in the unfamiliar

Rediscovered
In the noise of backfired cars
In the sight of abandoned cars
Unnecessary arguments
Necessary wins
Friends who take care
Pages of books finally taken off reading lists
Rewritten
In the empty pages of notebooks
Finished stanzas
Told stories
memorialised
written
and packed
amongst home in a 10 kg suitcase

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