Why I support Australia in the cricket and not India

Jagjit “Jason” Malhotra confronts the inconsistencies in his family’s outlook on life

At exactly 1:15pm on Saturday 26th March 2018, Australia came to a standstill. As a fellow Australian with full Australian citizenship and voting rights, I stood with my fellow countrymen and shed a tear as allegations of downright ball-tampering were downright proved against Steve Smith.

What a true cunt of a day in Australian history, and one we look back at with downright shame.

Nonetheless, I never turn my back on my self-adopted Australian heritage. I mean, how could you, with such legends such as Dave Warner and Mike Hussey representing our great country in the sport. Well, that’s a question for my deadshit Indian migrant family, who for some godforsaken reason support India, and at their lowest points, even Bangladesh, in cricket.

Like, what the heck, you know? You come to this nation with nothing but a suitcase, and what do you give it? A slap in the face. 

I am lucky enough to wear my 100% pure nylon-cotton blend official Australia jersey from JD Sports, whereas my father sweats porously through his shitty India shirt (Made In India) because it’s polyester. Fucking disgusting.

Filed under: