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Underground “Sight Club” discovered at USyd

The work of an underground collective has been plaguing tutes and seminars

Student’s overwhelming unresponsiveness in tutorials and seminars is largely due to the thriving “Sight Club”, an underground student-led staring competition, an investigation by The Rodent has found. Seminar and tutorial groups across faculties have been competing against each other during lessons via social media. 

The uncovering comes after years of investigative reporting by student journalist Betty, 45, who states that “Being the loudest voice in the room makes you wonder if all of the students are actually struggling. Then I noticed they were livestreaming themselves. Kind of related actually, when I left Tassie I was a monk in Malaysia for quite some ti-”

This quote has been shortened for clarity.

The controversial “Sight Club” is being viewed by some as a low-level cold plaguing the University for years. Vice Chancellor Michael Spence, soon resigning to publish his poetry, agrees stating:

“They look like turkeys,

Or big wagyu cows in drought,

Oh woe is the smart.”

Postgraduate lecturer Mark emotionally delivered his gratitude to the investigative team. “I don’t cry after every tutorial anymore.” Here he gestured to his skin. “More hydrated now.”

Considering the alleged goal of Sight Club is that the winning seminar/tutorial group are somehow lifted up the ranks of the University’s mental health service waiting list, there is no sign of the club stopping anytime soon.

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