Newly single woman embraces Stalinism, erases all photos of ex

Dressed from head to toe in Gorman and an avid fan of Aperol Spritzes, Melissa Davies (25) is not what normally comes to mind when someone says “indoctrinated Stalinist.” However, the PR assistant is finding herself more and more drawn to the ideology that ruled the Soviet Union from the 30s to the 50s with an iron fist after her recent break-up with her boyfriend.

“Look, I get that Stalin did all those awful things. But that time he edited Nikolai Yezhnov out of a pic after Nik was purged?  That’s so me haha what a mood.”

Davies’ own “Great Purge” has involved a full sweep of her social media handles where she has removed all photos which feature her ex-boyfriend. Davies has been brutal, sparing no mercy – not even for the ones she looks “really hot” in.

“I thought about maybe just changing the captions to something like ‘I should have never trusted you” or “Counter-revolutionary scum’ but then I remembered that Comrade Stalin wouldn’t have compromised. He would’ve gone the whole way.”

Davies said she topped it all off with blocking her ex-boyfriend, but only after creating a fake account to continue monitoring his online activity. She expressed no remorse for her actions.

“Stalin was way hotter anyways,” she said.