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USU releases new guidelines on how to ethically embezzle from clubs and societies

"You're gonna do it anyway, so you may as well do it right"

“Embezzlement is a healthy and natural part of campus life. We’d prefer it if club and society executives did it responsibly and where we can see them.”

This was part of a statement made by USU President Irene Ma as she announced a raft of new mesasures to ensure C&S embezzlement is carried out with the welfare of perpetrators in front of mind.

Disgraced former USU board candidate Tina Lee expressed concern that not enough was being done for executive who had embezzled before the new regulations were introduced.

“Too little, too late. Just because I was at the cutting edge of campus financial crime, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t benefit from future developments in the regualtory framework.”

Along with a simple step-by-step guide to basic C&S embezzlement, the USU also plans to offer banking services for any embezzled funds.

The corporate world has applauded the USU for their enlightened decision, congratulating the student union for bringing the uni in line with the private sector.

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